Walking Travesty (Jalex)

That's Just My Luck These Days...

Alex's POV

Why can't I just be left alone? Everyone has something to say or something to add. I have no personal space with this society. It's none if your business what my life is.

School people are the worst. Teachers, social workers, and other staff members are all up in my business. I just wish they'd leave me alone.

I feel like complete shit now. All day, people have tried to make me miserable, or get into my business. The only one who is nice to me is Josh. Josh had been talking to Oli a lot though. He's sort of leaving me.

I made it through most of the day until lunch. I was sitting, Josh had joined me because Oli's table was full. I wasn't eating, as usual. Josh and I were obsessing about this band that we both like, Fall Out Boy.

A stupid jock walked over to me and said, "Hey, faggot, why aren't you eating? Here have some milk." He dumped his milk all over me. "Oops. It missed your mouth but that's okay because you're fat anyways." He laughed and walked back to his friends who were laughing, too.

I got up and ran to the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the sink and put my head in many hands. I was crying and it wouldn't stop.

I barely heard someone come in, but I was too numb to even look up. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Josh. "Alex, are you okay? You shouldn't listen to them, he's a dick." I stayed silent and looked down. "You should get cleaned up. I can lend you a sweatshirt." He offered. I nodded. He went to grab a sweatshirt so I took off mine and my shirt. I was cleaning myself up when Josh walked back in, or, so I thought.

"Alex?" It was him. He can't see me like this. I was crying and shirtless for fucks sake.

"Leave me alone." I said.

"Alex... Listen, I'm sorry. I'm rude, inconsiderate, and nosy. I'm really sorry." he did look sorry, but he's probably just acting. He walked toward me and I stepped back until I hit the walk behind me. When he was close to me he motioned to my arm and said, "Can I-.... Um.. Can I see them?"

I didn't know what to do so I didn't reply. He must've taken the silence as a 'yes' though because he softly grabbed my arm. He ran his fingers lightly over my cuts and scars.

"W-why?..... Is this all because of me?" he choked out. I didn't answer. I felt something wet on my arm and looked up to see Jack crying. I pulled my arm away as Josh walked back in. Jack washed his hands to make Josh think he was actually using the bathroom.

Josh handed me the sweatshirt and I threw it on. "Thanks," I muttered as we started walking out.

"Alex?" Josh said. I hummed in response. "You do eat, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?" I lied.

"Well I was thinking.... I don't think I've ever seen you eat lunch, but I just was just wondering after that little incident." he said.

"Yeah. I eat, I just don't like school lunch and I'm too lazy to bring my lunch." Now that wasn't a total lie.

The rest of the day passed excruciatingly slow. By the time I was home, I was numb, but in pain at the same time. I walked in my house and went strait to my room.

I collapsed on my bed and took a deep breath. I tried to keep my breathing controlled, but it was still shaky. I felt like there was something slowly pushing a hole through my stomach with something huge. It felt like my chest was weighed down. I couldn't focus on anything around me. Everything that wasn't in front of me was a blur. All noises were distant and like echoes. I felt so numb to the point where I became depressed. I'm so sick of feeling this. I long for that feeling to not feel at all.

I knew there was a quick way to relieve myself from numbness and depression. Pain. I went to the bathroom and took out my blade. I needed the relief bad. I dragged the metal across my wrist, watching the blood pool up in the cut. I sliced my wrist over and over and over again until the relief took over and I felt better.

I cleaned up and went to my room. I hadn't bothered to turn on the wretched light and I locked my door. I changed from jeans to sweatpants and collapsed back on my bed. I closed my eyes and silently cried. I cried until I fell asleep. I slept through dinner and the rest of the day/night.