Walking Travesty (Jalex)

It's Such A Shame That We Built A Wreck Out Of Me

Alex's POV

Rise Against's I Don't Want To Be Here Anymore blared on my phone, which was right next to my head. The only way I would wake up was to this because it was actually loud enough to wake me up.

Another day of torture. When I went to bed last night, I was hoping that I wouldn't wake up. I don't want to live anymore.

I hopped in the shower and washed myself up. I winced as the water hit my skin. It stung. I should be used the this by now. When I was done I threw on some jeans and a Blink 182 hoodie, not even bothering to put on a shirt.

I walked downstairs and grabbed a glass of water. As I was drinking, my sleeve fell down a bit. My mother saw my wrist and sighed. "I don't have time for this, Alex."

What a motherly thing to say. Way to make time to comfort your son who's tried to kill himself. You are the #1 Mom, the MVP. The doctors recommended therapy but my mother refuses to take me. She tries to convince herself that our family is okay. Our family is far from it.

All my parents do is fight. My dad has a slight drinking problem. My mother never stops him. Especially when he hurts me. Our family has never had good communication since I told my parents I was gay. My mom was okay with it, but my father wasn't. Everything went downhill from there. The arguments and needless beatings.

When I got to school I just wanted to scream. I feel so lost in this world. I've honestly never felt this alone. I've always had at least someone, and it was recently Josh. Josh has been hanging out with Oli a lot lately, so it wouldn't surprise me if I got ditched. I'm not going to lie, Oli is fucking attractive, unlike me.

I walk down the halls, trying to avoid everyone's eyes. With my luck though, I failed. I obviously just had to lock eyes with Jack. Why was life such a bitch to me?

Jack looked upset and slightly hungover. He was probably at a party or some shit. I wanted to know why he looks upset though. I could never ask him. I can't even trust him, but I want to know.

I love Jack. I don't want to admit it to him. He says he loves me and he's sorry, but how can I know that's true? What if it's a lie? A joke?

It seems ridiculous though, I mean, I'm in love with the boy who made my life living hell.

I walked over to Jack, somehow managing to build up some courage that I didn't know I had. He wasn't around anyone, which made it easier for me. "Jack... Can we.. uh.. talk?" I asked.

He looked at me curiously. "Yeah." he replied. He looked pained slightly to see me but he followed me into an empty class room anyway.

Before I could say anything, he blurted out, "Alex, I love you." His eyes widened and his hand flew up to cover his mouth. "Um... I.. uhh" he started to mumble.

"Jack.... Do actually mean that? One minute you're hurting me, the next minute you care. You confuse me so much. So just tell me the god damned truth." I said slightly agitated.