Shattered Throne

Chapter 10

Mare

Cal scoffs.  

I roll my eyes dramatically at him.  

 "Mare", he starts.  

 "Yes, yes I am aware that he is not going to come open the door for us jeez."

 "Okay, okay, just making sure you aren't losing it too."  He pauses.  "Well, shall I do the honors then?"  

 "Be my guest Cal," as I gesture towards the iron slide bolt that kept him caged.  Cal steps forward and slides it back smoothly.  Deep breath Mare, nothing will be the same again when we leave this room.  Hopefully it will be for the better, but after everything, I am not a very hopeful person.  

I take the lead next and swing open the door.  Here we go. 

 We walk in and there he is, majestically, perfectly poised on the same bed that I kissed him on the other day.  More like an exhibit rather than a visit really.  Cal should take a nice look at Maven, be fine with it and we leave.  But of course, why would anything ever be so easy?

Clearly expecting us, alerted by my knock, he smirks. 

 I take him in, having the strength to look him in the eye with Cal by my side. Familiar inky dark hair in stark contrast to his pale skin, lighter than last time.  His face gaunt, cheek bones pronounced with deep bags under his eyes, really the only feature of his that seem lively.  His lean frame looks thinner too, surprising how much he has seemed to change in a day.  Well, just in appearance so far.  

At first I thought he was his usual self-composed self, but I now realize he's just plainly startled. His mask completely gone, awkwardly staring back at us, uncomfortable with being studied. 

"Nice of you to pay me a visit dear brother," he finally remarks, his voice seeming tired, beaten even.  Cal walks toward him, and Maven swings his legs around to stand, and takes a position leaning against the bedpost.  I tentatively move towards them too.

 Mavens eyes go back and forth between the two of us, for once his words failing him as Cal nor I say nothing.  If he truly has changed, what will I do?  Be forced to chose between them again?  The answer seems obvious at first.  Maven being the Maven I dreamed of was, well, is my dream.  Right? 

Cal, being the political genius he is, breaks the silence. "So, how are you feeling?"

Maven opens his mouth to respond, but Cal cuts him off.

"Mare explained everything to me, and well I do really hope that this was the right decision to make, and that you are," he pauses, "better."

I interject, before Cal says something stupid. We need the real him, not the one fabricated to respond to Cal.  Despite my best efforts, my voice trembles slightly, "Maven-"

To my surprise he cuts me off. 

Maven

Well, here goes. 

"Honestly guys, this last day has been absolute hell for me."  I stop, attempting to gauge their reactions.  All I read is confusion, but make the decision to continue.  For the first time in a long time I speak with having no clear intentions or calculative plan in mind.  The words just come out, jumbled and strung together.

"I'm assuming here that there must be cameras somewhere, but obviously leaving me in the comfort of my own room was an interesting move.  That being said, what I don't know is who, or if you, Mare, were watching me the past day."  I pause for a second, unsure of where to go next.  "I've had a lot of time to think, and I am really just stunned you gave me another chance.  I did some horrific things, and well, it would be impossible to fully apologize for them, but I really want to do my best."

Cal's face lightens, while Mare's remains the same.  I open my mouth, then close it again.  What else can I say?  I've fantasized about killing the both of them.  Many times.  And they both know it.  But that part of me is numb, unable to grasp anymore, distant and far, a speck of dust in a valiant crowded ballroom.

"So, it worked then?" Questions Cal. 

"Yes.  Well I don't know how to explain it exactly.  I know I'm still me, just the drive to do" I pause, "things, is gone.  I think I feel good." There goes the honesty train.  Talking to the both of them feels awkward, forced.  My mind is clouded, lines of thought blurred together, and its near impossible to pluck one specific feeling out.

This is Mare and Cal, I can trust them. I don't need to hide ever again.

"But I also feel like there's an anchor inside of me, pulling my insides down and out, crushing my chest." Their faces turn to concern, and suddenly a wave of dizziness floods over me and my knees go weak.  Blackness inky swirls threaten to completely obscure my vision.  The floor spins, and I struggle to hold on.

Mare

He seems confused, dazed even. A new look for Maven. Whatever the serum is doing to his mind, I don't think I like it.  

He just completely contradicted himself, where is the sure steadfast Maven from so long ago?  I can't imagine what Cal is feeling, and am not brave enough to glance over at him.

Even his movements seem slow and sluggish.  I grasp Maven's eye contact, and  catch a wave of desperation.  Last time I saw him he said we would find out who he truly was, the real him.  Well, this does not seem to be it either.  

Cal must have sensed he was going down, and lunges out to partially catch Maven as he collapses. 

Startled, I quickly kneel next to them, lightening quivering at my fingertips from anxiety.  

Laced with a mix of anger and fear, Cal evenly asks, "Mare, what did you and Julian do?"