Mirrorless

Chapter 8

Alone in pain,
Alone in misery,
Alone in love,
Alone always.

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Calix straightened his tie, looking carefully at himself in the mirror. His parents were throwing a huge New Year's party in honor of his acceptance into Cambridge, but Calix hardly cared for it. He wanted to have a quiet New Year's Eve, preferably in his room. He was itching to get his hands on the new brushes he had gotten from his sister for Christmas, but he couldn't. He had a loud, annoying party to attend.

Calix's father poked his head into Calix's room.

"Oh, you're ready. Come downstairs, everyone's waiting for you."

Calix nodded stiffly, following his father. As he stepped off the staircase, the crowd of people shouted, congratulating him and wishing his good luck. He forced a smile. His father clapped him on his back and his mother just stood to the side, smiling at him proudly.

"Calix, why don't you tell everyone about your admission?"

Calix looked out at the crowd.

"Well, it's pretty simple, really. I got into Cambridge for graduate studies."

"What subject, Calix?"

Calix looked out into the crowd, trying to identify the source of the voice, but failed. He glanced at his parents briefly, his heart pounding.

"M Phil in Education for Arts and Creativity."

His parents' smiles immediately dropped, and murmurs spread across the crowd. His father frowned at Calix.

"What did you say?"

Heart pounding, Calix turned to his parents.

"I said, M Phil in Education for Arts and Creativity."

His mother's lip trembled.

"You said you applied for astrophysics, Calix. What's going on?"

"I lied, mom. I can't keep doing a subject that you want me to do. This is something that I want to do. I love art. And studying about its role in education is something that I really want to do."

His father's eyes smoldered.

"Calix, what the hell are you saying? We told you to apply for astrophysics, not something else."

Calix sighed, looking his father in the eyes.

"I don't want to do astrophysics, dad. I'm not going to do something I don't like."

His father's hand cracked across Calix's face. The crowd behind them gasped, the sound reminding him of the audience reactions in an old TV drama. His father gripped Calix's collar, pulling his face close.

"If you're going to make your decisions by yourself, then you better pay for it yourself too."

His father released Calix's collar and stormed away, his mother close behind. The crowd slowly trickled away, leaving Calix alone with tears in his eyes, his cheek throbbing.

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Lilian punched in Calix's number again.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up."

Her call went to voicemail again, and Lilian sighed, her expression falling. Why wouldn't Calix take her calls? She glanced up at the clock. It was past midnight, and she wanted to wish Calix for the New Year, but he wasn't picking up.

She dialed once more, crossing her fingers and hoping that Calix would answer.

He didn't.

She left a quick message, wishing him a Happy New Year and asking him to call her as soon as he got her message. She put her phone on the nightstand and flopped on to her bed. She absentmindedly traced the shape of the dragonfly pendant with her finger.

What was going on? Calix never ignored her calls, even if he was busy. Did she do something wrong? Did he hate her? Did he meet some other girl and decide he didn't need her anymore?

Lilian felt the panic rising inside as she thought of reasons for him ignoring her calls. She sat up, trying to clear her mind, but her breathing only got worse. She stumbled to the kitchen, gulping down water.

There had to be something wrong. No matter what she told herself, she knew something was going to go wrong.

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Calix stared at the phone, at the caller id of the person calling.

Lilian.

He threw the phone across the room, frustrated. He rolled over on his bed and shut his eyes, determined to sleep.

"Hey Calix? It's me Lilian. I just wanted to say Happy New Year. Call me back whenever you hear this, okay?"

He groaned, pulling the covers over his head. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even Lilian. Especially not Lilian. If he was to pay for Cambridge by himself, he'd have to do something that he was incredibly ashamed of even thinking of doing. But it had to be done. And it had to be done soon. A degree at Cambridge meant a lot, and he had to do everything he could to be able to do it.

Lilian would understand, wouldn't she?

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Here's a double update since I missed an update yesterday :))