last of his kind [yoonseok] {diary au}

chapter 2

it's been a week since hoseok lost the love of his life, yoongi. a week since his life fell apart around him. he felt so helpless and weak without yoongi there to support him, but he kinda deserved it for not being there for yoongi. as much as he wanted to despise yoongi for leaving him, he knew that he couldn't. his heart belonged to yoongi.

for the past week, he's barely eaten anything and he's been drinking daily. he didn't want to develop an alcohol addiction, but the withdrawls were sometimes too much to handle. he couldn't handle the pain of being sober and realizing that he'll never see yoongi again. he just couldn't bring himself to accept the truth.

he's probably gotten fired already, but he didn't care. he didn't care if he lived or died. he just wanted to fall asleep. he wondered if yoongi was in a better place. if he was, he wanted to be there to experience it with yoongi as well. he didn't want to be alone in a world full of pain, especially in a world that took away his will to live.

he got up to get another glass of alcohol to drown out his thoughts. he knew fully well how shitty it was to drown your tears in alcohol, but he was willing to do it if it could get his mind off yoongi for just a second. he drank down the drink as if his life depended on it. he felt his legs wobble under him, but he ignored it and continued drinking.

it wasn't long before he was flat out wasted. he never had high alcohol tolerance, which is partially why he got wasted so fast. when yoongi was still alive, he remembered how he despised drinking. now, here he was, drinking to forget yoongi. he felt like such a hypocrite, but he continued it anyway.

his legs collapsed beneath him and he landed onto the floor with a loud thump. even the pain that his body recieved from the impact was nothing compared to the pain of losing yoongi. despite being drunk, he still remembered yoongi. tears rolled down his face as he remembered all the memories they made together. he lay there as he thought about how he'd never be able to see yoongi's gummy smile again. he'd never be able to hold yoongi like he used to.

he didn't know how long he lay there, but it must've been a long time since he heard someone knocking on his door. when he didn't get up to open it, the person knocking the door resort to kicking the door down in general. he didn't even bother seeing who it was. he actually kinda hoped that it was a murderer coming to end him.

instead, he heard a familiar voice. "hoseok, do you mind telling us why you look like you've been hit by a truck and why your house reeks of beer?" namjoon asked hoseok, causing him to let out a sarcastic chuckle. "what do you think? do you expect me to live as if nothing happened right after the love of my life killed himself?"

"do you think yoongi would enjoy seeing you suffer like this? no one expects you to get over him immediately, but no one expects you to start an alcohol addiction either. it takes time to get over grief, and i understand that. it's not easy, but you're going to have to let go eventually, even if it isn't going to happen anytime soon." jimin retorted, causing hoseok to cackle.

"do you think i'll even get over him? both of you know how much he mattered to me. both of you saw how hard we fought to be together. i still can't grasp the fact that he's gone, let alone get over him. there's no way that i ever will, and i'll guarantee that." hoseok replied, causing jimin and namjoon to sigh.

"well, at least take care of yourself while you mourn. we already lost a close friend of ours, we definitely don't want to lose you too. here, i'll clean up some of the stuff in this house for you. you just sit there and eat." namjoon offered, already picking up scattered clothes and empty bottles.

jimin looked in hoseok's fridge and gasped. "hoseok, did you even eat anything for the past week? why is there nothing in the fridge except alcohol bottles and some leftovers from last week?" he asked, making namjoon rush to look at the fridge himself.

"i didn't feel like eating anything, that's all." hoseok said briefly, reaching for a bottle of beer. before he grabbed it, namjoon already had it in his hand and held it up high. of course, hoseok gave up because he knew that he would never reach the bottle.

jimin quickly rushed out of the apartment to the nearest grocery store. he knew that hoseok would always torture himself when he was sad, but he was still surprised that he would go to this extent. he's never seen hoseok this devastated and he didn't really know what to do.

as soon as he got back, he made some food for hoseok as fast as he could. even if it didn't taste good, it didn't matter as long as hoseok had something in his stomach. when hoseok barely even touched it, namjoon and jimin teamed up to force it down his throat.

none of them liked seeing hoseok this way, but they knew that they had to do something unless they wanted to lose hoseok as well. to them, that wasn't an option and they'll never let that happen as long as they lived. when they left, hoseok literally let out a sigh of relief although it did feel better to feel full.

sadly, they weren't gone for long and they came back within an hour. "hoseok, we're staying with you until you're stable enough to do things by yourself. we want to trust you, but we can't now that we've seen what you've been doung to yourself for the past week. you can hate us all you want, but we genuinely want you to live." namjoon explained sadly, looking hoseok in the eye.

"whatever." hoseok muttered, locking himself in his room. he pulled out his journal and started writing to yoongi again, something he hasn't done in a week.

dear yoongi, the love of my life,

i miss you more than you could imagine. jimin and namjoon came over today, and they found out that i've been drinking all week. i'm sorry for not being able to function without you yoongi, it's just so hard. never in a million years did i think i'd lose you in the way that i did. they said that you'd be disappointed in the afterlife to see me like this and i can't help but agree. i look so pitiful, don't i? you're probably wondering why you fell in love with me, aren't you? you're probably thinking about how useless and disappointing i am when you're gone. i know, i'm pathetic. i know i'm sad. i know i'm terrible at everything. I KNOW. yet i'm still hoping that you're still in love with me in the afterlife. selfish, i know, but that's just who you fell in love with.
          your boyfriend who will love you forever, jung hoseok.