last of his kind [yoonseok] {diary au}

chapter 4

hoseok walked to work on a rainy day. it seemed that every day was rainy ever since yoongi left, but maybe that was just him. it's already been 3 weeks since yoongi left him without saying a single word. he finally gathered the courage to show up at work after ditching it for 3 weeks.

he didn't even want to think about the things that his boss might say to him once he got there. he knew that he deserved it for ditching work for 3 weeks, but tha doesn't mean that he was ready for it. and he definitely wasn't prepared or excited to listen to his boss rant at him.

he walked inside of the studio to the dance room to see all of his fellow dancers looking at him. he ignored their stares and put his stuff in a corner as he prepared to dance. suddenly, everyone just came rushing towards him out of nowhere. hoseok didn't even know why they were running towards him.

"hoseok-hyung! i'm so glad that you're finally well enough to come back! i was so lonely without you here to talk to me during these last few weeks." one of the dancers said, pouting. hoseok recognized him as the dancing prodigy named jeon jungkook. he was one of the most talented dancers for his age.

"haha, yeah, i'm alright now. what piece are we dancing to now?" hoseok asked, patting jungkook's head gently. "oh, we're learning the cheorography to this song called spring day. it was written by my older brother, jin. he had a collaboration with someone else and released it just a few days after you stopped coming. it's a really beautiful song, i promise!" jungkook exclaimed excitedly.

"is it? let me take a listen to it." hoseok replied, going through one of the computers in the dance room in an attempt to find the song. suddenly, jungkook's phone went off. "oh sorry hoseok-hyung, i have to take this call. just wait a moment. hello, taehyung?" jungkook excused, rushing outside to answer his call.

the moment hoseok heard jungkook utter taehyung's name, he immediately stiffened. for some reason, he had a sudden urge to find out if taehyung was straight or not. then again, the percentage of him being anything but straight was basically nothing, especially when it was banned in korea. hoseok remembered how hard it was just for him to be with yoongi.

as soon as jungkook came back, he started apologizing to hoseok for no apparent reason. hoseok cut him off and decided to ask something about taehyung since jungkook apparently knew him. "hey, do you know if taehyung is straight or not?" hoseok asked directly, not even caring about the stares everyone else shot at him.

"i'm pretty sure he's straight. he's never had any kind of interest in any boys. well, at least i haven't seen him with any other boys. he hasn't even dated a single girl. probably because his family doesn't allow dating before he graduates highschool. he comes from a pretty strict family. they're probably homophobic too." jungkook replied, telling hoseok a bit more about taehyung.

hoseok let out a loud sigh, catching the attention of the people around him. "you probably know how much i hate homophobic people. they're quite disgusting to be honest. people part of the lgbt+ are no different from normal people. they just have different sexual preferences. i won't say any more about this unless you want me to start ranting in here, which i'm not supposed to do. i'm here to dance, not rant."

"indeed, you're here to dance, not rant. i see you have the nerve to come back after leaving without a word for 3 weeks. do you have anything to say about yourself?" hoseok's dance instructor said in a loud, booming voice. hoseok didn't even flinch as he looked at his dance instructor straight in the eye and said no more than a few words as his explaination. "i had shit to sort out. what kind of shit? that's not really your business, now is it?"

his dance instructor narrowed his eyes at him before he dismissed him and went back to making everyone practice their dances. hoseok had to stay behind and practice the earlier steps of the dance for spring day because of missing out on the instructions a few weeks ago. thankfully, he was a skilled dancer which meant that he learned the moves pretty quickly.

just like jungkook said, spring day really was a beautiful song. for some reason, he felt a stab in his heart whenever he heard it. maybe it was because of how much it reminded him of his relationship with yoongi. or maybe it was just another reminder that the yoongi he loved was gone. still, he tried his hardest to not break down in the dance room.

once the practice was over, he packed his stuff and left as fast as he could. he wanted to avoid talking to anyone at the moment, especially when the memory of yoongi was still so fresh in his mind. on his way home, he took huge gulps of water from his waterbottle as he walked.

suddenly, he bumped into someone who looked quite familiar. "hey! it's hoseok-hyung! it's really a coincidence, isn't it? i never would've thought that i'd meet you by chance this many times. how have you been doing? i've heard that you aren't in the brightest of spirits lately. you want to grab some coffee together?" taehyung cheered excitedly, pulling on hoseok's sleeve.

"if you want to talk to me, you can just say so. and no, we're not getting coffee. it's the worse when you have dance practices the next day. let's go to the park instead." hoseok offered, making taehyung smile. "okay, the park it is! c'mon, lets race there! the first one there has to get a drink from the loser!" taehyung challenged, making hoseok sigh. still, he couldn't say no, now could he?

once they got to the park, hoseok put his stuff on one of the benches and he started playing on the swings with taehyung. the way he swayed gently on the swings was another painful reminder that yoongi wasn't with him anymore. he remember how he used to waltz with yoongi under the moonlight.

the way yoongi swayed gently when he danced. the way yoongi seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. even when he tripped and messed up, he still looked like the exact replica of an angel. hoseok couldn't even believe that he was able to date someone so beautiful and elegant.

after taehyung and hoseok realized how dark it was, they said their goodbyes and went their seperate ways. hoseok mentally cursed at himself for not getting taehyung's number. the moment he got home, he literally inhaled his dinner and locked himself in his room. he couldn't wait to write another entry in his diary dedicated to yoongi.

dear yoongi, my one and only love

i finally went to work today. we're learning a new dance to this song called spring day, and it's an absolutely beautiful piece. it reminds me so much of you. of us. you don't even realize how much of my love i gave to you. it was almost too much for me to handle, so how would you react if you ever knew? remember how we used to dance under the night sky full of stars, just you and me? i still remember how much trouble you had when you tried getting the hang of waltzing. to me, you looked like an angel even when you tripped on your own feet and fell. you always looked like an angel in my opinion. you'll always be an angel. my angel. i still remember the cheesy songs we played while we danced. the songs we played were so painfully sappy and gross, but i love them because those songs are now a part of me. a part of us. i met taehyung again today. i feel so guilty when i think about how i'm slowly falling for him, even though it isn't meant to be. he's straight, yoongi. he would never fall in love with me. besides, maybe it's better that way. i'm not ready to fall in love with someone new anyway. even if i did find someone new, i promise you that you'll always be my number one love. i hope you can hear my wishes in the afterlife. all i ever wanted was for you to be happy. that wish has stayed the same up until now. i guess i just couldn't make you happy no matter how hard i tried. i'm sorry for failing to make you happy. i really did try my hardest. i wish we can be reunited once i die. do you think you can fulfill my wish? please answer me, yoongi. i can't live without you. i really can't. everything's just so black and white now that you're gone. i don't just want you, i need you. i really do need you. please believe me.

                          your confused boyfriend, jung hoseok.