My Brother's Andy Biersack?

Chapter 9

I burst through the front door of Andy’s house and I ran upstairs straight into the shower. I turned the shower on to as hot as it could go. I stripped and stepped in. I stood there under the scalding water for what seemed like hours. I just wanted to wash away all that had just happened.

I cheated. I actually cheated on Ronnie. It was only days into the relationship and I cheated.

I felt like such a slut. I never cheated. Ever. No matter what the circumstances. I decided that I needed to break up with Ronnie. I couldn’t continue the relationship without feeling like a whore. Even when I told him I would still feel worthless.

It was times like this that I wanted to cut. I looked at my razor blade in the shower and stepped towards it. I stopped cutting when I was 17. That’s almost 3 years ago. All those years I held myself back, saying I was better than this.

This time I wasn’t.

I was a worthless whore and I deserved it. Slowly I reached for the razor and brought it to my wrist. The blade rested on my soft skin but didn’t move. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The blade dropped to the shower floor and tears started flowing from my eyes. I turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping myself in a towel. I got dressed and started walking downstairs. When I stepped off the last step my legs gave out and I sank to the floor. I just sat there with my head in my hands until Andy and the boys came home. When they finally did ten minutes later I was still slumped against the wall at the base of the stairs.

Andy rushed over to me, “Olivia?! What is it? What’s wrong?”

When I didn’t respond he grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him.

“Olivia Biersack, I demand you tell me what is making you so upset. Right now.”

At that moment I just let all my built up emotion explode from within me.

“I’M A FUCKING SLUT! THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY? YOUR SO-CALLED ‘BABY’ SISTER IS A WHORE!” I screamed. I ran up the stairs and locked myself in my room.

A few minutes later I heard a knock come from the door.

“Go away, Andy.”

“It’s Ash.”

I sat there for a minute wondering if I should let him in or not. I figured that he wasn’t going to go away so I got up and unlocked the door. I opened it and faced Ashley.

“Can I help you?” I said, trying as best as I could to be nonchalant.  Unfortunately, he didn’t buy it.

“Would care to explain what happened just now? And perhaps what happened at Craig’s place?”

I cringed when he said Craig’s name and he noticed, “He didn’t touch you, did he?”

His voice became hard and the sympathetic look on his face disappeared.

“No, Ash. It’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like?”

I didn’t answer; I just stared at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Olivia, please. We’re all really worried about you. Andy especially.”

I sighed and moved so he could come in. I went and sat down on the bed. Ashley joined me and I tried to muster up the courage to tell him what had happened.

“I kissed Craig. I cheated,” I paused and looked at Ash, “I have to break up with him. I have to break up with Ronnie. I don’t want to, but I can’t continue this relationship without feeling like a worthless piece of nothing.”