FOR DEATH'S HEART

| One |

| One |

Salem:

Taking a deep breath, my body wakes up before my brain. My sore knuckles twitch as my lungs expand with a sour burn as I breathe. Another morning I wake up to pain and no pleasure. Maybe I should be thankful I'm alive.

"Sure," I can't help but snicker, "Then I can start smelling flowers and dancing in the rain."

"What?" Carter moans, waking up to my rambles.

My eyes drift over to him. Studying the naked man that lay beside me on coral coloured bedsheets. I kept telling him he needed new sheets. These make his pale ass look like a ghoul. He just flips me off and tells me if I got a job I could buy new ones.

As if he'd let me get a job.

As if I could hold onto one.

"Go back to bed Carter," I sigh sitting up.

Tossing my brown hair carelessly over my shoulder I slid out of the bed. It was getting long – almost to my boobs now. Definitely wanted it cut. Long hair was just a hassle. I pulled the hair band off my wrist and tied back my hair in a loose bun. Then, grabbing Carter's cigarettes I headed towards the balcony.

"I want eggs and toast," Carter mutters as I leave the room.

My eyes roll and I bit my tongue from telling him where he can shove his eggs and toast. Treading through the little one bedroom apartment, I move carefully to not step on any of the empty beer bottles and other crap that legit is always on the damn floor.

Someone should really clean this place up, goddamn.

Sitting on the balcony, I let sunlight bathe my face as I light one of the tobacco sticks before taking a long drag. A nice breeze blows past me and I know it should be a peaceful moment but I don't feel peaceful. You never do, the tiny voice in my head snickers.

"Fuck off," I hiss flicking the cigarette off the balcony edge before heading inside.

Taking care to down my daily pills with a mouthful of warm beer I turn towards the kitchen. Against my better judgement, I made scrambled eggs and toast. Enough for Carter – despite the grumbling of my stomach I wasn't hungry. I wasn't a lot of anything these days.

Lucky for me, Carter was enough for the two of us. Sure enough, as soon as the square clock on the wall struck ten thirty, Carter emerged from the bedroom. He sat down and silently, I placed the plate in front of him. Admiring is freshly washed face and lack of a shirt.

With no thank you (not that I expected one) he began to dig into his food like he always did. The image made the corners of my mouth tug. Some things hadn't changed since we were little. Carter was still and always would be a pig.

"So," Carter talks with his mouth full, pulling me from my thoughts, "I have to work late tonight."

I frown, "You always do. Why does Donny keep pulling this shit?"

"Babe chill, I'm always here when you wake up," he replied with a grin, "Besides I always wake you up when I get home. Just to show you how much I've missed you. I know you love when I do that."

"Whatever Carter," I snap growing annoyed.

His hands raise in defense, "Did you take your pills yet? Do I have to get more beer? Sal, the Beer Store's closed on Sundays. God's day and all."

Slamming down the bottle in my hand, the beer split all over my hand. My annoyance had quickly turned to anger. God, I really hated him sometimes. His blue eyes flickered to my hand before back to his food as he ignored my outburst. He always did.

"Look in the fridge before opening your mouth," I gritted out, "And don't worry about me taking my fucking pills. You know I do every day. You sound like a real jackass bringing them up, you know?"

He shrugged, finishing his food before standing. Our circular dining table wobbled slightly and he moved to place the dirty dishes in the sink. Then, he headed back towards the bedroom. I watched him go, feeling my anger move to sadness before I pushed that away.

Why did it always feel like my fault?

"Salem!" Carter's voice once more distracts me, "Have you seen my phone?"

"No," I yell back quickly rubbing my face and tossing back the rest of my beer.

Stumbling with my head already starting to feel fuzzy, I entered the bedroom where Carter was on all fours peering under the bed. My brow arched at the sight and I held back from asking why he would think it was under the bed.

"Can you call it?" he yelled, voice muffled as he didn't realize I was behind him.

This time, I couldn't hold my tongue back, "You idiot."

He jerked, his head lifting to slam into the bed frame as he got up clutching where he had hit. He cursed louder than a sailor sending me a glare. Ignoring it, I got onto the bed then laid down. My eyes had barely closed when something soft hit my face. Peeling one eye open I picked the sock off my face.

"You know what the doc says," he drawled out, "sleeping in leads to sleeping all day."

Sighing, I knew he was right. Pulling myself back up I stared at him as he finished getting dressed. A new frown tugged onto my lips as I realized Carter didn't normally start work until just before dinner time. It was almost eleven in the morning – why was he getting dressed?

"Going somewhere?" I asked curiously.

He rolled his eyes, "Suspicious much? Me and the boys are going to the mall."

"The mall? What are you sixteen?" I snickered.

"At least I have friends to hang out with."

"Fuck off Carter."

He sighed deeply, those blue eyes watching me, "Whatever Sal. I'm not sure I'll be back before work so don't wait up. Also I can't find my phone so don't bother calling or texting. Love you."

He pressed his lips to my forehead in a fleeting moment then he was gone. Leaving me all alone to my darkened thoughts and my beers. I huffed lightly before falling back into the bed and closing my eyes. At least Carter wasn't here to pester me awake.

Nope, at the end of the day I was always alone with my thoughts.

Lucky me...