FOR DEATH'S HEART

| Four |

| Four |

Salem:

Carter left early in the morning, saying Donny had a car in that was top priority. And so, it being Monday already I emerged from the safe walls of Carter's place and began the long walk to Doctor Amkor's place. It was for my appointments did I bother to put on a layer of foundation and mascara and throw on a nice black, flowered dress. Like a normal girl.

Pretending to be normal at least. That's what I had to do to ensure my family's inheritance was mine in four months. If, at any point, Doctor Amkor deemed me mentally unstable and a threat to anyone, including myself. Then that money would go to funding my extensive care in the mental ward.

Carter insisted I at least pretend to be ok on these days. He said I'd crumble in any hospital and that at least this way I had my freedom. I trusted Carter on this. He, afterall, wanted what was best for me.

"Good morning Salem," Doctor Amkor greeted pulling her front door open before I had the chance to knock.

I pulled a smile onto my face, "Good morning Doctor, how are you today?"

The old woman smiled. Gesturing to the faded leather couch and glass coffee table where a tea pot steamed. Doctor Amkor always had our sessions like this, with tea and cookies. She was kind, and had a big heart. After losing her husband to Alzheimer's, she decided to come out of retirement and go back to being a psychiatrist.

I didn't mind, her home was so different than Carter's. It didn't stink of beer and Axe. Instead, it always smelled like cookies and fresh jasmine tea. I didn't understand it but, I looked forward to our meetings.

"How was this week for you? I know you were in the hospital last week. Would you like to talk about that?" she asked sitting down in a rocking chair across from me.

I shrugged, picking up my tea cup and taking a sip. The jasmine flavor danced across my taste buds, with a hint of sugar. I didn't think she'd find out but she always did. I had woken up in the hospital ten times this year. Ten times I had accidently died and all ten times I had my life spared by death.

The doctors however, couldn't figure out why I kept dying. There were no forewarnings no symptoms – nothing. My heart would simply stop, then nothing. Not until I reopened my eyes in the hospital.

The first five times Carter had been worried, but after a while it just gets old. This past week Carter had told me he came home to find me dead on the floor.

"I figured you'd be fine so I made myself a sandwich first before calling an ambulance. I didn't get a lunch break so I was so hungry babe."

He had told me. The words were so ridiculous out of his mouth I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I ended up doing neither. It was scary and strange to me – when had dying became a normal thing in my life?

"Salem, we can talk about something else if that makes you uncomfortable," Doctor Amkor said kindly.

I blinked then shook my head, "It's not. I was just thinking. The doctors think it's an extended heart murmur. Once my heart stops, it starts back up like nothing had happened. The doctors warned me this may be a condition for the rest of my life."

She nodded, her blue eyes focused on me, "And how does that make you feel? Since the death of your parents, you've shut yourself off from everyone but Carter. I know in the past he has been a huge support in your recovery, any urges to shut him off?"

"No," I replied quietly.

"And your parents? I know you didn't get a chance last week, have you visited them this week?"