Two days later I arrived at the HBO casting offices to film my call back. Nervous and excited about what I needed to do. I walked in and hit my mark in the center of the room. I saw Karen in the group of casting directors and HBO executives. I stood next to the chair. I looked to my left and found the stationary HD camera with a neon yellow piece of tape on it. The camera in place and marked as Karen promised.
Called back for John Bender, the rebel, I read three scenes.
"Very good...we are interested in you for the part."
Karen coached me to pretend that I did not get cast. And they tell me the bad news at this point of the callback.
"You need to be angry and upset."
"Yes, you are definitely one of our top picks for John Bender," Jared informed me.
"I can see him as John, even though you seem like such a nice guy," Natasha added.
Lowe and Karen worked this angle with the casting directors to cue the next part.
Lowe's turn.
"I agree, very talented...you look the part, but does he have that fire John needs?"
"I think so," Jared responded.
"I don't know...," Brian said... "I need a bit more fire...the anger that oozes out of John."
Brian said this but I forced myself to hear, "sorry we are going to pass, you may leave."
The thought of getting axed from the project after being so excited about it, and working so hard the past month made my inside wretch. I pictured all my friends continuing on without me. The moment horrified me and I tasted vomit in the back of my throat. My ears began to ring, the nerves and the psychological mind game I inflicted on my emotions rushed through my body.
"You want fire?" I spat.
"You need anger?"
I picked up the chair to my right and flung it at the camera shattering the glass and sending bits to the floor. I heard a few surprised gasps from the casting team and HBO executives, on my way out the door. I slammed it behind me and rushed out of the office and out to my car, breathing heavily.
After I slammed the door, Brian would say, " He has to play Bender."
