DAZED

Chapter Five

A month had gone by. Finneas and I had fixed our issue. I was now on my spring break; finals were kicking my ass. After hanging out with Billie and Finn almost every day, I swore a little more. Oh yeah, after the kiss, we went back to never talking about it ever again. It sucked. At first, I didn't care, but after spending so much time with her, you're bound to begin to have feelings, which is precisely where I was now. I am stuck having feelings for a straight girl. I was stuck singing War Of Hearts in my apartment to my pets.

"I can't help but love you. Even though I try not to, I can't help but want you. I know that I'd die without you," I sing softly with sadness heavy in my heart. I have kissed multiple girls over this month, but none like Billie. Or at least as well as Billie. It made me feel something I had never felt before, knowing I could never be with her. Maybe downhearted?

"Woah, nice voice..." I hear a low voice say from behind me, and it's then that I realize tears are down my face.

"Hey, Fin.." I greeted him with a tone that I tried to make sound okay but failed. He takes a seat in front of me.

"I know, by the way..." I looked up with confusion and worried about what he was referring to. "You like my younger sister." At just that, I immediately burst into tears and fell into his arms. It hurt more than I could say to feel so much for someone who will never see you that way. Also, the fact that we were so similar yet so different. It would never work if she did even like me. "It's okay... come on. I'm taking you to a party. You'll meet a girl, and all will be right." I nod slowly while pushing myself off and dragging my body to change. This wasn't going to work.

Finneas and I talked the whole way to the party about how I am so obvious. I wore a simple black two-piece with heels. We listened to N Sync on the way to pump me up, which it did. After he gave me a mini pep talk, we both walked in, and I went to the liquor. When I have my preferred drink, I go to the living room or dance floor for the night. A pop song blasted through the speakers. Ugh, what garbage. Now I notice Billie across the room, and she smiles sweetly at me and then continues her conversation. Did she know what she was doing to me? How much was it hurts me to see this and feel this way? Of course not. A petite blonde girl sits beside me; she reeked of cheap perfume, which ruined her pretty face.

"Hey, there, stranger."

"Hi," I reply dryly and sip my drink.

"So wanna dance?" My eyes travel to Billie, who laughs loudly across the room and moves in closer, obviously flirting. He drags her to the dance floor while she continues to laugh. I quickly down my drink and stand up, offering my hand to the girl. We go to the center, and she grinds against me.

"Your name?" I ask in her ear as I place my hand on the lower part of her back. She smiles kindly at me and steps back.

"Cassandra."

"I like that name," I answer and take her hand into mine, giving her a quick spin. She giggles and wraps her arm around me, our bodies against each other. Not even sexually, just dancing.

"How about your stranger?" She asks with a slight smirk, spinning me now, and I let out a genuine laugh.

"Diana." As she spun me around, my eyes caught on Billie kissing the guy, and he tugged her upstairs while she smirked at herself. That hurt—a lot. I look at Sandra; she smiles, and I push my lips against hers. It felt like nothing, just another person. Not Billie. After kissing her forever, she drags me up the stairs. She takes off my top as we reach the first room, and I rip off hers, finally giving in to the lust. She opens the door without looking, her lips still attached to mine.

"Woah!" My head snapped in the direction to see Billie on top of the guy, and he was shirtless. Oh crap. Me and Cass, shirtless, I look over to her, and she starts laughing, kissing my neck. Billie furrows her brows at that action.

"I am super sorry," I apologize, pursing my lips, and the guy nods silently with a cocky smile.

"Can you guys get out?" Cassandra asks rudely, running her hands all over me, and Billie stands up; now I see her pants are off. I feel Cass's hand slip into my pants, and my jaw drops at her boldness. This was incredibly uncomfortable.

"Bitch. Get the fuck out." Cassandra laughs and gets in her face. She was thankfully removing herself from my area. Quickly seeing where this would go, I step in front of Cass. "Move, Di," Billie speaks lowly, pissed off at the girl. Her eyes were never meeting mine. My heart twists at the nickname she called me.

"I can't, B," I whisper; I was a bit taller than Billie right now, so her eyes reached mine, and it was challenging not to kiss her right there.

"Move, babe, let's see what this bitch got," Cass says from behind me, and I look at how childish they are. Suddenly some other girl walks in, going towards Cass. Who the heck is this?

"Where is the stupid bitch?" I realize Cassie asked for backup. Damn it, man. Billie laughs and leaps around me, gripping the girl's hair and throwing a punch. The other girl goes towards Billie and pulls her off, hitting her in the face. I didn't understand what went through me, but I immediately pulled the girl away from Bill and threw her against the wall. Everything quickly turned a shade of red. I push my forearm against the girl's throat.

"Don't you fucking touch her." I spat on her and kneed her in the gut. She quickly ran out, and I turned to see Cassie on top of Billie, but it seemed like Bill was hitting harder. I pull Cassandra off and push her neck down so she is knee level; I swing my knee into her face, pulling her face up to mine. She looked busted. Bad.

"Don't you fucking try it? Got it!" I shouted angrily; what I was feeling wasn't anger. But rage. I pushed her out the door and saw the guy was long gone.

So here we were. I was shirtless, breathing heavily. Billie was slightly bloody and red, breathing heavily with no pants on.

"Didn't know you had it in you to swear, much less beat the shit out of someone." She says to lighten the mood, but all I do is pick up my shirt and put it on.

"Yeah. I'll see you around, Bill..." I breathe out; she furrows her eyebrows, confused at me.

"Wait, what's up?" I turn to face her and fake a smile.

"I'm a 21-year-old virgin, and I wanted to tap that. That's all." I lie through my teeth and shrug. She walked to me in a way that showed me what she thought was not good.

"I'll take it" my eyes widen, and a slight cough rises from my chest. What the fuck did she say?

"What?" I ask hoarsely, putting my hand on my chest.

"Seriously." She nods as she speaks, smirking slightly.

"No."

"Why?" We began to go back and forth if I was ever going to have sex with Billie. It would never be like this.

"No." She continuously pushes me to agree, and I snap accidentally.

"Not like this!" I shout, stopping her from coming closer with my hands on either side of her face. Our faces are inches away from each other.  She inhales sharply, and it sets in what I had just said. "I'm going home." I finish shakily, letting go of her and stepping back.

"I-um," She starts, but I don't let her finish because I decide enough is enough and leave. I needed to go home.

VOTE.