DAZED

Chapter Twenty

Fuck I was scared, Finneas was with me; rubbing my back while I was hanging over the toilet. The fear and anxiety were getting to me. How could I go and see her? What do I say? What the fuck does one say in this situation? I have texted Billie but she has to be so busy and hasn't responded. She had a busy day yesterday so I wouldn't be bugging her today so she can rest up. I do wish she was here. I am glad Finneas is here though. I groan as I throw up one more time.

"Diana. You don't have to do this if you aren't ready you know that?" I look up at him and nod my head. I had to do this for myself. Everything felt groggy. I try to give him a smile which he laughs at and passed me a mini hand towel. My face heats up out of embarrassment.

"I'm gonna, my anxiety is just being a little bitch." I try to joke and gag at the thought of meeting her. He laughs and continues to rub my back. We both start to laugh together. "Hey, Finn is Billie feeling okay? Should I surprise her?" I ask him and he starts to avoid my gaze...

"I think you should just focus on your sister right now." I nod my head slowly at him; standing up and brushing my teeth. After that, I pat my clothes which were a pink and blue plaid skirt, with a pink crop top, finished with my custom designed air forces. I felt like I looked very soft, even with the tattoos on my body showing. My semi-short hair was in soft waves, with little to no makeup on me. "you look good stop overthinking." I look over at him with a soft smile.

"I wish Billie was here, I watched her music videos earlier and I seriously can't believe that's my girlfriend," I admit while walking out the bathroom and downstairs to my kitchen - his footsteps behind me. "I mean she is so talented, I could honestly cry on how proud I am, not just of her but of you Finn. You are so so talented."

"Thanks, Ana, so how about watermelon cubes and talking about this song to get your mind off of it?" he asks me already searching through my fridge pulling out the watermelon cubes.

"Sure. So, this song, what is it about?" I ask grabbing two forks and sitting at the island. He sighs and grabs a fork digging into a cube.

"No, I am going to keep what it's about to open, so it can mean anything and everything to somebody." He replies before popping a little red cube into his mouth. I nod my head slowly trying to understand and plan a time to go over to their house.

"How about after this thing with my sister, I go over and we go from there?" I answer to which he nods putting another cube in his mouth so his cheeks are puffed out. I let out a laugh and do the same thing. I put my hands on his face and squish the watermelon while he does the same to me. Soon we are just two idiots with watermelon faces laughing as if we will never laugh again.

"Alright, I should go," I say standing with laughs still falling from my lips. He nods laughing along with me and grabbing his car keys. "oh shit, wait I need my journal for the songwriting later." I quickly run upstairs and see Billie responded to me, a smile immediately spread on my face. God, I love her so much. I was going to surprise her no matter what.

babybil

wsp mamas, yeah ton of media fucking blew. got a meeting later though, ly. ttyl.

That sucked so much for her, I was probably gonna leave her some gifts on her bed so when she got back she had something to smile about. I grab my notebook, and a purse so I can put that in, along with my wallet. I rush downstairs only to see Finneas already waiting in the car for me. I put the address on my phone and give it to Finn as I get in the passenger seat.

"I don't want to have my hopes up but there is a chance I can have a family at the end of this Finn," I tell him while looking out the window, thoughts were racing my mind.