What did the angels think when they put his and her shattered crumbles of heart together? Little did they knew, the power of fate and love...
"Clary Lightwood, little do you know how much I love you, how much I cared from the beginning. Maybe fate h...
" I've been holding back, for the fear that you might change your mind..."
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"Et iterum timet amare et amari" - She is so afraid, to love, and to be loved, again.
Clary's:
- "That's unfair! You pushed me, twice!"
Alec made a mocking sad face and reached his hand to ruffle her hair again as if it had become his new habit. They had just stepped out from a game of Spinning Board at Amica Amusement Park, where there was like a giant round dish spinning at high speed with people standing on it without anything to hold on but each other or else they would end up flying out and being eliminated.
It had been like a piece of cake for both of them after years (many for Alec, one and a half for Clary) of training since they learnt to keep balance, to stay hold, to be strong. Well yeah.
- "But you didn't fall." - Clary shouted back to him.
She pushed Alec twice.
And they had the best time ever. She had laughed more than she had done in the whole year and Clary guessed it was the same for Alec too - she had never seen him so happy, vibrant and lively and... childish.
Well he wasn't really the moody type before but being... like this wasn't like him also. Raziel's sake! She should be happy right now to have him with her, to have all his care and attention but the angels know that she wasn't.
It was like an anchor holding her down, keeping her mouth shut from telling affectionate things to Alec; her arms from reaching out to hold him and her heart from open up to him. What was wrong with her?
No. The anchor whispered.
No no no no. Everything was wrong. He didn't love her and she would not love him and that would stay the same. It was just that he liked her a little bit. Like Jace liked her a little bit when he kissed her in the Institute's Botanic Garden long ago. It was just "like". It would fade all someday.
Clary couldn't bring herself to look at Alec's eyes which were full of stars as he spoke, bits and pieces cut by laughters:
- "I held onto you, Clary."
- "Maybe I didn't push you hard enough."
He seemed to have noticed her grim face and the unusual honesty in her voice since everything fell into an uncomfortable silence except from the rustlings of the trees and random chatters here and there. She turned away:
- "I'm just kidding haha. I won't murder you."
- "I'm not sure about that. You looked very scary before." - Alec let out a stiff laugh, relaxing himself again.
- "How could I kill you anyway? You're my brother now, aren't you. I will treat you nicer than Izzy does trust me." She forced out a grin, then held out her hand.
