safe & sound → t. m. r.

II.

"I dunno. I pushed him and he fell over," I say confidently.

"What do you want from us? Are you looking for a fight or something?"

"Yeah I wanna fight!" I yell excitedly. I slap her across the face and then punch her in the nose. I hear a satisfying crack. I kick her in the ribs and stomach and then pin her to the ground with my knees and repeatedly punch her in the face.

After a while I get kind of bored so Honey and I go back inside.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim when I see myself in the light. "I got blood on my brand new Nike sports bra! And it's white. It'll be ruined! This day just keeps getting worse and worse. You know, Honey, I think this might just be the worst day of my life."

"Yeah. Me too, tbh," she says, crossing her arms. "What can we do to improve it?"

"SHAGGING!" we exclaim simultaneously.

I think for a minute. "You know, Honey, sweetie. I looked over to the gardens today and I saw that greenie hoeing the lawns with Newt and I just thought back to the times when I first arrived in the box and I realised that those were so much better times. Like when I was dating Newt. And when you weren't here."

"Oh. Okay."

"I think you should go to bed," I suggest.

Honey looks taken aback. "No, but, shagging—"

"I SAID GO TO BED," I command. I can't have anyone hotter than me being around tonight when I'm trying to get laid. Getting laid is my top most value.

After she leaves I take my good lacy pink and black out of the pocket of my short bike shorts and go to the bathrooms to get changed. Most of the guys have left the dining hall now and are sitting around a large bonfire, which is good. I strip so I'm just in my thong then apply my bra. At first I think against the bra because it might be too much and I should just wear the thong but. Like. Most of the boys here are super irrelevants.

When I venture out near the bonfire most guys don't even glance up.

"Hello?" I call, flicking my straight platinum blonde hair over one of my tanned shoulders. I stand confidently with one hand on my hip, but still they take no notice.

"Hello?!" I say, more urgently. At least two boys look this time but they throw me weird looks then go back to playing uno and the Simpsons monopoly.

"Ugh!" I grunt and wander off into the forest to seek out a better sexual encounter.

Suddenly I smell a strong and familiar scent. Weed. I decide to follow it.

Finally I spot two figures over in a clearing.

"Hey boys!" I call, putting on my sexy baby voice.

I hear loads of scrambling about and rustling and I start to panic thinking they're gonna run away from me so I sprint over to them.

"Skye? Is that you?"

"Yes. Who the fuck else has a body as hot as mine?" I tease. I get a closer look at their faces and realise it's Thomas and Newt, two of my ex's. "Oh, Newt! Thomas! What are two likely lads like you doing out here on such a smashing night?"

"Just sorting through some issues," Newt says with a large degree of confidence.

"Oh I can help with that for sure!" I say. "You guys ever heard of a pretzel? It's like this bread type snack but it's got salt—"

"It's not that kind of issue anymore, Skye," Thomas sighs.

He walks closer to me and gets right into my face. "Mama—" he whispers.

"Sorry, Thomas. I'm not really good at playing a mother. I'm better at the baby part. But if you be the dad again and Newt plays the mum instead it should work out."

"Not yet, Skye, we gotta sort out Jeff first," he says, acting as if he's lying.

I burst into tears. "It's because of me, isn't it? It's because I'm ugly."

"Well, yeah. You're not as pretty as Kale. But this is kinda important."

"Whatever!" I scream in Newts face. "I didn't want a stupid threesome anyway. You go have one with Jeff if you're that desperate. You're all dumb sluts!"