Are my eyes playing tricks on me? I blinked a couple of times just to make sure. He helped me stand on my feet. I was still holding on to his arms.
“Hey, ok ka lang ba?” He looked at me intently. I’m lost for words. He raised his brows and cocked his head waiting for a reply. I quickly removed my hands from his arms. He’s really here Kimmy. I told myself.
Stepping away from him, words finally came back. “What are you doing here?”
He was alarmed by my question. I noticed his jaw tensed. He hesitantly took a step forward. I moved back and folded my arms to my chest.
“Anong ginagawa mo dito?” I reapeted. “How did you find me?”
Still no answer, instead he took another step towards me.
“Wag mo kong lapitan. Lumayo ka sakin. If you’re not going to answer any of my questions. FINE. But please leave me alone!” I said almost in a scream.
Tinalikuran ko siya. I heard him call out my name but I did not bother looking back. I don’t want him here. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to see him. Kaya nga ako lumayo para iwasan siya tapos eto siya ngayon.
I was making my way out of the park but people coming in are making it hard for me. I pushed through the flood of people trying to ignore the person calling from behind me. Ano ba paraanin niyo na ko please!
“Kim, wait! Please! Stop!” he keeps yelling.
I don’t know how he did it but just when I thought I was far away from him, he suddenly grabbed my arm tightly.
“Can… you… stop… for… a… while!” he said in between breaths. I turned to face him. He’s grasping for air.
“Let go of me!” I was struggling from his grasped.
“NO!” he said firmly as he dragged me back inside the park.
“Damn it! Please bitawan mo ako.” I started hitting his arm with my free hand. He still did not let go of me. I felt his grip tighten even more. I know I should be hurt by his grip but I feel nothing. I feel numb. I am still digesting the fact that he is here. Sinundan niya ako. I gave up struggling. What’s the point? He’s way stronger than I am. When I did, I felt his grip loosen a little. I just gave in. I allowed him to lead the way. Where are we going?
“Saan mo ko dadalhin?” I tugged on his arm. He looked at me then just gave me a faint smile. What is he up to?
I finally realized where we’re going. I looked up. I gasped. I can’t ride this thing. When we were almost near the ride, I noticed that the thick crowd earlier were gone. Siguro meron na lang 6 people ahead of us.
“Can I now have my hand back?” I arched my brows at him.
“No! You might run away again.” He said calmly.
“I’m never going to let that happen again.” He said almost in a whisper. What is he talking about? Mas nainis ako sa narinig ko. Ano bang kalokohan to? Ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko. Ang dami kong gusting sabihin at itanong pero bakit ayaw lumabas ng mga salita? I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts.
“Xi…an…” I didn’t get to finish what I am about to say. He’s pulling my arm towards the seat. It’s our turn. Shit! Patong patong na ang nararamdaman ko. Kaba, inis, takot. I’m really, really scared of heights. I closed my eyes as I sat down. The safety bar was pulled down. I held it tightly.
“Shit!” I suddenly screamed as the Ferris wheel started moving. I heard a soft giggle. My eyes still shut firmly closed, my breathing hastened and my hands gripping tightly onto the bar.
“Hey, open your eyes. Paano mo ma-eenjoy kapag nakasara yung mga mata mo.” I felt his warm breath on my ear. He leaned closer. “Come on Mimay. Take a look. Ang ganda ng view. And loosen your grip, you might get blisters.”
He then placed both his hands on mine and gave it a squeeze. With my eyes still shut, I loosened my grip. He suddenly grabbed my hands, held them tightly into his and brought them to his lips kissing them lightly. His touch, his lips, it brought shivers down my spine. I want to take a peek but I’m still too scared to open my eyes.
He just held my hands giving them a gentle squeeze and rubbing them with his thumb. Somehow, this made me feel calm and safe.
“We’re almost at the top. Sige na. Open your eyes.” he muttered.
“I’m scared.” I murmured shyly. I felt him suppress a giggle.
“Don’t be scared. I’m here.” He then placed an arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to him.
“I am also scared, you know. Takot akong masaktan at mas lalong takot akong makasakit. You are too precious for me Kim and I’m scared to hurt you because… I know I will. With all the baggage I have…” his voice suddenly trailed off.
“Kim, mas pipiliin kong ako na lang ang masaktan. You see, I’m trying to keep you away from my messy life but every time I try to step back something always pulls me back to you. Hindi ko kayang nasasaktan ka ng dahil sa akin.”
Every word he’s saying is slowly tearing away the walls in my heart. I can no longer keep my eyes shut. When I opened them, my eyes met his gaze. It’s full of fear, pain and something else. Something I can’t put a finger on yet. I hate seeing him like this, so torn up.
I did not say anything. I want to listen to him. “But ironically, here you are hurt because of me. Ang DUWAG ko na nga, ang laki ko pang TANGA. I meant it when I said I’m never going to let you run away from me again.”
He took a deep breath and cupped my face. “Mimay, I’m still scared but I don’t want to be forever. I want to take the risk….. with YOU. Can we still figure it out together?”
Say something Kimmy. I kept screaming in my mind. But words are not coming out of my mouth. I opened them and decided to close it again. I’m still processing everything. I felt as if my heart is about to burst. My stomach tied into knots. Is this really happening? I kept repeating in my head. I can’t hol..d his gaze. I bowed my head. He removed his hands from my face and held on the bar.
“Ahh, So... I guess I’m late again” I looked at him. He’s staring blankly at the horizon. Then out of nowhere, tears rolled down from his cheek. “I hope you’ll be happy with Mark.”
I’m confused. Does he think I’m with Mark?
I held his cheeks brushing away the tears from his face. He lifted his gaze. He may look like a defeated soldier but then, there it is, in his eyes. I can see it now. The one thing I wanted so much to see from them. Their no longer full of pain and fear, instead it’s filled with love. He may not have said it yet but I know he already feels it. And here I am again, giving in to this feeling. My feelings for him.
“Xian, walang Mark. Walang iba.” I said. He frowned. I nodded and smiled. His face lit up. His lips twitch into a small smile.
He removed my hands from his cheek. Held them tightly and once again brought them to his lips. His eyes never left mine. I felt tingly all over as his lips touched my skin.
“I love you, Mimay” he said as he planted small kisses on each knuckle. He finally said it. He finally allowed himself to feel it. I can’t be any happier.
Then I realized I’m no longer scared. I looked around, we’re at the top. Xian’s right it’s beautiful up here. The ocean meeting the night sky at the horizon. The sky is so bright. It’s a full moon and the stars are brightly shinning. It’s a bit chilly but I feel warm and fuzzy in his arms wrapped around me.
“Ang ganda” I blurted out.
“Yes… you are” he said staring at me lovingly. He leaned closer as he pulled me closer. He kissed my forehead. Then the tip of my nose. And just before our lips met… he once again said those three words tenderly and filled with so much affection.
“I love you so much”
I smiled. “I love you too, Xian” and I tilted my head to meet his lips.
Once again, we were both lost in the spell. A love spell, that’s only just, began.
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