Because of you {Tododeku/kiribaku}

Chapter 10

Todoroki continued to let tears slip down his cheeks silently, hating how utterly weak he felt. It had only been about ten minutes since he'd run off and yet it felt like he'd been blubbering for hours. His head ached, but he refused to use his quirk to cool his swollen eyes, telling himself he deserved to feel like this for what he'd done.
"Todoroki?" Midoriya whispered, obviously trying not to draw attention to the fact they were outside of the building after dark. "Come on... if you're out here, answer me! I'm not mad I swear..."
Shoto scoffed to himself slightly, of course the boy wasn't mad. He didn't have a cruel bone in his entire body and wouldn't blame him for his actions. Still, that didn't mean that he was ready to face him after being so forward with his affections. So, he stayed quiet, closing his eyes against his bent knees.
"Damn it... P-please..." Midoriya continued, his own voice starting to break with emotion. "I-I've looked everywhere inside... We can talk about this..."
The dual quirk user tried to take in a breath, tried to steel himself against the teens nearly panicked whispers. But it didn't work, his heart still felt like it had been stabbed with jagged glass, sending sharp pains through him with every slight spasm of his lungs.
"There you are!" the boy exclaimed, pulling back the bushes to find a still extremely distressed Todoroki. Shoto had his head still buried in his knees, and his arms wrapped around himself for comfort as he shook. It filled Midoriya with guilt to know that he'd set off such a breakdown.
As soon as he tried to reach out though, Todoroki flinched away, his face never raising enough for Midoriya to see. He took a breath and tried to collect himself; usually, it was the dual user that was calming him down and making feel better, not the other way around. He also highly doubted this was just from the kiss alone. No, it was probably just the last pebble before breaking the damn.
There were so many things Izuku thought he could say, but each one sounded hollow in his mind until it came to him. An ultimate show of trust that would prove how much he believed in their bond. He knew he couldn't tell Todoroki the whole truth about his quirk yet, but he could tell him something he'd never told a single soul before.
"When I was really little, I had a lot of other hero names picked out besides Deku. 'Mighty All Man', 'Mighty Boy', 'All Might Junior', 'Mighty Man', 'Captain All Might', even 'Super All Might' he finally stated, his voice as soft as the snow Todoroki's mother used to make.
Shoto tightened his grip around himself but appeared to be listening to whatever it was Midoriya was going to start rambling about. Taking that as a good sign, Izuku sat down next to him and started playing with the light ice that had formed on the ground. "My mom's favorite was Super All Might. She would tell me that I was the best sidekick to All Might, his right-hand man... That I was destined to become the next hero, the newest symbol of peace. I believed her with all my heart until we found out when I was four that I was quirkless."
That made Shoto's head snap up, his red, puffy eyes glaring at Izuku accusingly. "You have a quirk." He seethed, his teeth grit together. If what had just happened wasn't enough, he couldn't stand the idea that Izuku was now straight up lying to him, and for no apparent reason.
"You're right, I do have one now... but... that wasn't always the case. In fact, I didn't get a quirk until my last year of middle school." Izuku swallowed hard and looked deeply into Todoroki's eyes.
"I don't know what it's like to be powerful from a young age and be pushed so hard by my parents like you... But I can speak about how it was growing up the complete opposite. After everyone started getting their quirks in kindergarten, I was bullied constantly. The students, the teachers, random bystanders.... It didn't matter to them because I was just a weak, quirkless loser."
Todoroki bit the inside of his lip. He'd never imagined that someone like Midoriya would be tossed to the side like trash. Even if he didn't have an amazing quirk, the boy himself was so kind-hearted and adorable. But, Midoriya wasn't finished.
"Back when we were starting to apply to high schools, my teacher pointed out that I, someone who was still quirkless at the time, wanted to get into the UA Hero Course. I'm not sure if he wanted to discourage me, or why he said it, but it only made my life harder. Everyone in the class laughed at me and pushed me around even more afterward. It was the same day as the sludge villain attack, and of course, I was one of the people targeted."
Shoto narrowed his eyes some. He'd seen the news, but it had only mentioned Bakugo as a victim. So, he told Midoriya as much, clearly challenging his story.
"That's true, but actually that was my fault too. The sludge villain caught me and All Might saved me from him. I wanted to be a hero so badly that I stupidly grabbed onto his leg while he was leaping off to take the villain to the police, and he got away without us noticing. Anyway, I asked All Might if I could be a hero too, and you know what he said? No... not without a quirk I couldn't."
Todoroki couldn't believe that the number one hero could be so cold. He knew that it was probably done out of concern for Midoriya's safety, but still, to crush a boy's dreams like that... Now their connection made sense in some ways, why the Number 1 Hero always seemed to favor the green haired teen. It was because Midoriya hadn't given up after he'd been told so many times that he couldn't do it.
"I was crushed..." Izuku stated, his head hanging low. "Being a hero was all I'd ever wanted and I felt stupid for thinking it could have come true. On my way home, I thought about everything everyone had said to me. How I was worthless, weak, quirkless... How even my idle All Might had told me I couldn't do it. So, I made a decision..."
Todoroki felt his chest flutter, imagining a slightly younger Midoriya becoming even more determined. But that feeling was decimated instantly by what his crush said next.
"I decided that I'd pack up my stuff so that mom wouldn't have to, and the next day I'd jump off my middle school building. I just... I couldn't handle it anymore; it was too much. I really thought that maybe if I died, I'd be reborn with a quirk next time..."
Todoroki's throat felt dry, his heart stopping at the very thought of Izuku taking his own life. He'd always thought that the boy was the sunshine that pushed away every cloud, that chased away the darkest nights. But it would seem that even the brightest light could get overtaken. "T-then...h-how?"
Midoriya looked up at the sky, the stars reflecting beautifully against his misty green eyes. "I was actually the stupid kid that ran in after Kacchan... All Might saw me and well... I guess I changed his mind. He caught up to me before I made it home and told me that he was wrong, that I could do it. For the next ten months he put me through absolute hell, but eventually, I did get the quirk of my dreams... and here we are."
"D-does he know?" Todoroki asked, still nearly paralyzed in horror.
"No, I've never told anyone what terrible thing I was going to do that day. Not my mom, or my new friends, not even All Might even though he saved me."
Shoto put his head back down to his knees and felt more tears start to fall. He didn't think any less of Midoriya for almost losing it after what he'd been through, but he did feel stupid for assuming the boy's life had been a breeze. It had just never occurred to him that sweet, brilliant, beautiful Midoriya could have been treated so poorly that he felt that was his only escape. "Why... why tell me then?"
Midoriya's face dusted pink and he hesitantly reached out to brush his fingers against Shoto's cheek, undeterred by the subsequent flinch. He leaned sideways as he gently pulled the boys face towards him until their lips brushed against one another's, the touch as light as air. He let his eyelids flutter closed as he shifted again, pressing their slightly parted mouths together more firmly this time.
Neither moved at first, but eventually, Midoriya pulled away, resting his forehead on Todoroki's frozen collarbone. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that no matter how bad the situation is, there's always hope... And I think... No... I'm sure... I feel safe letting you see the darkest parts of me because I've fallen in love with you..." he whispered.
For Todoroki, the universe itself stopped.