the texts I never sent....

Open Up

I miss you so god damn much but I can't bring myself to message you... No matter how much I stare at my phone. I have to let you go now knowing you decided to break up with me.
But I don't know if I want to let you go. It hurts to think about it..  I miss you but I shouldn't... Because you have hurt me... And you don't even know why...
You hate the fact that I never opened up to you... But you want to know why I didn't? Because I can't trust people.... Wanna know why? Because I grew up with everyone lying around me... Especially my father, who I despise so much for what's he done to me and everyone I ever loved.... And that's how you hurt me... By lying and being deceitful... Reminding me of everything I tried to run from and bloke in my brain... All those painful memories I wish to forget... But I can never forget them... No matter how much I try....