Shivers

Chapter 9

"It must be confusing why do you experience the weird and unpleasant feeling when he's with you."  Jeremiah stated and i caught a hint of sympathy in his tone.  I kept my mouth shut due to my nervousness.  I couldn't formulate any words now.  I was tounge tight all of a sudden.  "I wish i can explain it to you but I'm not authorized. Forgive me."

So,  he knew why i had this unpleasant feelings?  Also,  he was not authorized to explain it to me.  This was frustrating.  Who the hell forbidded them from giving me crucial informations? God.  That just great. I could feel my temperature raised due to my anger.  'Control your temper.'

"S-so..  That's all you want to say to me? Just telling me that you know everything and i don't?" I spoke restraining myself from shouting at him as i finished my sentence. Jeremiah shook his head gloomily as if what i said saddened him. 

"Lyn.." He trailed off on purpose as Xander showed up in the lounge with a tray in his hand.  He put it down on the coffee table in front of me.  By the smell,  he made tea and there were biscuits on a plate. He gracefully arranged the teapot,  plate and cups on the table.  I just watched him as he worked.

"Do me a favour,  Xander.  Go get the box upstairs." Jeremiah ushered him.  Xander looked at him and i could tell he was in puzzlement but obeyed him.  Jeremiah purposely kept Xander busy from hearing our conversation.  Why would he do that?

Xander left to the stairs and Jeremiah poured the tea for me and pushed the cup in front of me,  gesturing me to drink up.  I didn't. I wasn't in the mood to drink a tea. My fury still hadn't fade out one bit.

"This is the consequences of the choice you made. It may looks senseless but it's the truth."  Jeremiah voiced out.  The more he spoke the more confused i became.  Maybe it did somehow clicked something.  Heck,  it was still confusing! "I advise you to find Lillian and it may answers everything."

"I'm going home." I picked up my bag and stood up abruptly.  It was a mistake meeting him. I should never complied.  'Lillian is gone.' I chanted in my mind.  It was the truth.  She was gone,  vanished, turned to nothingness.

"You can't keep running away from the truth,  Lyn.  I'm convinced you know that from the beginning."  Jeremiah said before i opened the door and left.

The rain was heavily pouring outside.  I didn't care one bit.  I kept on walking toward the pavement,  heading to my house.  I clenched my fists tightly and bit my bottom lip.  I didn't feel the cold due to my burning rage inside of me.  I didn't remember the last time i was this angry.
'I'm not running away.' I denied inside my head. I was drenched from head to toe and ignored the fact that my books probably wet right at this moment. I couldn't see well because my glasses were blurred with the raindrops.

I let out a shaky breath,  it was getting harder to breath. I walked into my front yard then stopped in my track.  I unclenched my hands and looked at them.  There were trembling,  again not because of the cold but I was angry.  Really angry. I couldn't differentiate my tears and the rain anymore.  I brought down my hands to my sides and looked down on the concrete pathway. My glasses slipped down and fell. I stared at it lying down there. 

'Lillian,  what would you do in this situation?'
***
I stopped drawing and looked at my half way finished new drawing.  It was a mansion. It had European and latin architecture. I finished the right side of the mansion with all the carves and details on the mansion. It took me roughly 3 hours to do that. A deep frown made it to my face.  I harshly yanked my drawer and took a lighter. 

I picked the drawing and walked into my bathroom.  I stood in front of the sink and held the paper in front of me. I set it on fire then threw it into the sink.  I bit my bottom lip as i watched the fire destroyed the drawing.