Shivers

Chapter 10

I scrolled through my phone out of boredom.  I was at my 'safe zone' again.  I didn't feel like attending lessons today. I was planning to stay on the roof for the rest of the day.  I opened up the calendar on my phone.

23 January 20xx.

It was today's date. I looked at the further dates ahead.  Something told me the time was getting shorter.  Something big was coming. I didn't know what but i could feel it. Again,  it didn't make sense. Yeah,  it was confusing. I felt Xander was coming.

The door opened and i was right he had arrive.  He brought a book in his hand. I looked away as our eyes met.  I continued playing with my phone.  He silently sat down next to me and opened the book then read it.

"Do you know that i was adopted?" I announced suddenly.  I didn't know why i bother telling him.  Probably because i just realized i had no one to share about these things.  Xander stopped his reading and looked at me but i kept my eyes on the sky.  "I was 12 when the James family adopted me. I got into a car crash and landed in an orphan with amnesia.  I didn't remember my real parents.  I just know my name,  Lillian.  Mom and dad just came one day and took me in. Well,  they just don't know what they brought home that day.  A cursed girl. They still took care of me like their own. They accepted me. That's why i love them so much."

"I have vague memories of my past and over the years,  i couldn't differentiate my memories and my imagination.  I do know my real name,  i do know that I've been wearing these special glasses since i was 10, i do know that i came from this town,  i do know what these cursed eyes can do and it is more than just seeing supernatural things. What i don't know is.. Why i got this eyes?" I let out a heavy sigh and i could feel Xander still staring at me.  "I hated my real name because i know there's something painful in it.  A memory that i didn't want to remember. I want it to stay forgotten. Now..  It just complicated. I'm torn into two sides that fighting each other.  One side of me wants to remember but the other side of me against the idea."

"I'm sorry." He muttered softly. I didn't need his sympathy.  I just wanted to let this all out.  I was tired. It was way too overwhelming now.

"Don't be." I shook my head then a smile broke out. "I don't tell you all this because i want your pity.  I just need to let them out.  I just want to feel at ease a little."

"Thanks for telling me.  I'm glad to be your listener." He stated causing me to look at him.  He smiled gently at me and i could tell he was very sincere and honest of what he just said.

The bell rang, signaling the lunch break was over.  I didn't budge from my spot and neither was him.  I took out my sketch book from my sling back alongside with a 3B pencil. Xander already back to his reading and didn't bother to ask me why i didn't go to class. I thought he would scold me for skipping class because,  he was an angel.  Wasn't that what angel would do?  Led you to the righteous path?  Well whatever.  I guessed, Xander wasn't very fond of attending class too.

I started drawing a countryside scenery.  I started with one horizontal line across the page then started drawing a hut. Drawing was like my little escape from the reality.  It felt calmer and i just forgot everything around me for a while. It was a good distraction.

"If you can obtain all of your memories back,  will you take the chance?"  Xander's voice broke the silent between us.  I stopped my work and looked at him with a raised brow.  He looked up from his book and turned his face toward me.  Our eyes met.

"Maybe." I replied slowly since i wasn't really sure.  'Do i want to remember everything?' I darted my eyes away from his golden eyes toward my sketch book. "Why do you ask?  Is there a way for my memories to come back?"