reconsider

her

her;

do i smile at him? do i say hi? it’s so awkward now, i hate it. he hasn’t talked to me in three weeks; every time i would approach him, he’d pretend he never saw me coming his way. i don’t know why he did what he did, and i don’t know why we can’t still be friends. i hate him for doing this. i feel like he’s all i have left. he’s the closest thing i have and now he just… he always makes things weird. he shouldn’t have kissed me in the first place.

you liked it anyway.

shut up, brain. and now, here he is, making first eye contact with me in what feels like forever. he furrows his eyebrows for a while and i feel like he’s inspecting me, searching for something. i smile and he looks away, as quick and easy as that. he was late to class. he always is these days. i secretly hate how he can get away with it. and i also hate how all the other girls can’t take their eyes off of him whenever he walks by. what am i to do? it will be futile for me to tell him that i was falling for him. was i falling for him? i don’t know. i just really needed his presence. oh gosh, what would she say to me right now if she saw me like this? “the fact that you’re crushing on my brother makes no sense to me, but what surprises me even more is that you’re being a complete wimp! just talk to him before i rip my hair out!” it’s scary how i can remember the highs and lows of her speech patterns so clearly in my head.

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wtf is wrong with me haha bye