i just really like thinking about stupid things about my favorite characters
so here's some random unimportant headcanons, comment if u agree with any
also i can't fucking write so here's a dumb excuse for writing
Kakashi
-smells like weed for no particular reason cough
-a virgin (he reads porn all the time, honestly, why wouldn't he be a virgin)
-probably broke
-pours milk before cereal
Iruka
-also a virgin (honestly asuma's the only one who could get laid)
-bottom
-CANNOT cook and is SUFFERING because of it
-overall a disaster but he's trying and we love him for it
Shino
-has named all his bug friends and mourns every single one of their deaths
-craves attention but will not make an attempt to get it (grumbles about how nobody pays attention to him as a result)
-wears shades so you can't see him crying
-kiba convinced him to wear clout goggles once
Kiba
-furry
-eats cereal, drinks milk, then breakdances to mix it all together in his stomach
-drinks gamer girl piss
-cries over aspca commercials
Naruto
-can't do long division
-doesn't understand how computers work (boruto-era) ("the internet is a series of tuBes")
-completely depends on his wife to take care of him, somehow did not learn how to take care of himself during his whole childhood when he didn't have parents
-honestly all of these are canon why am i even trying
Sasuke
-watches chick flicks
-also can't do long division
-bi
-bottom
-pours milk before cereal (he learned from the best)
-no concept of fashion or style
Sakura
-top
-100% book smarts, 0% street smarts (fully depends on ino for social etiquette)
-watches crime shows
-not great at cooking but she tries
-had a horse girl phase
Shikamaru
-smokes weed
-eats uncrustables ("this tastes like shit" "then why do you eat them???" "incoherent grumbling")
-can cook but will not (see above solution)
-sleeps til 12 so he doesn't have to make breakfast
will probably be updated frequently
