Reflection

An Unbearable Weight

Jesse's vision was blurry and she was struggling to breathe.

Over the weeks, Jesse only grew worse and she had grew so bad that their was nothing the doctors could do.

The cancer had spread too quickly and the doctor's had caught it when it was too late.

She was so thin that all the bones in her face and wrist were visible.

Lukas firmly held Jesse's hand in his and whispered, "Your gonna be okay you here me?"

Jesse couldn't even respond since she was so weak.

She could see the pain in his eye's and Jesse pointed weakly at herself then at the heart shaped locket that was around her neck and then at Lukas.

Lukas nodded swiftly, his hand gently squeezing her's.

"I love you too Jesse," Lukas said softly, his voice trembling.

Jesse weakly attempted to grab the journal that was in her lap, but Lukas gently stopped her.

He picked up the small journal and quickly handed it to her.

She didn't take instead she feebly pushed it towards him and Lukas got the message.

Jesse squeezed Olivia and Lukas' hand tighter and she inhaled sharply.

After a few moments Jesse's head suddenly fell back and she took her last breath.

Olivia, who was holding Jesse's other hand, shakily cupped her own hand over her mouth.

"Jesse?"

Olivia glanced up at Lukas and the heart monitor produced a sound that both Olivia and Lukas dreaded to hear.

"...She's... gone," Olivia said, her tone full of shock.

Lukas squeezed Jesse's hand.

"No...no! She's...gonna open her eye's again! She's just messing with us...," Lukas suddenly trailed off as Olivia's word's sunk in.

Olivia glanced at Lukas and Olivia could just see the heartbreak in his azure eye's.

He bit his quivering bottom lip and he gazed back down at Jesse.

Tears streamed down his cheeks and his chest felt tight and his body was shaking uncontrollably.

Olivia walked over to him and hugged him which only struck memories of Jesse for Lukas.

More tears streamed down his face and Olivia rubbed circles around his back as he wept hysterically.

Tears were running down Olivia's face as well and her dark caramel colored eyes glistened with regret.

"W-Why her...," Lukas mumbled, his clenched fists tightening. "Why!"

His broken heart was filled with unexplainable emotions and he started crying even more as it hit him even harder.

She's not coming back. She won't be here tomorrow or the next day or the next week. She's gone...forever.

He didn't want to accept this. He refused to accept the fact that she was just gone, but alas he was going to have to.

Only one week had passed and Lukas stood before Jesse's grave.

Dark bags were under his eye's, his hair was messy, his face was pale and his eye's were glossy with fresh tears.

He kneeled beside her grave and placed a bouquet of rose's on her grave and whispered softly.

"Y'know you said that it feels empty... And now I understand what you mean't by that."

A tear escapes Lukas' eye as he continues, "I still can't bring myself to read that letter you wrote me, but....I'll try to right now.

With trembling hand's, Lukas took out her journal and flipped to the first page and read it with a quivering voice.

Dear Lukas,

Lukas, I sincerely thank you for everything you have done for me. You have done so much for me that it's completely overwhelming. You have been so patient with me and I just can't thank you enough.

I'm not sure what made you come back to Beacon-town the day you did, but you saved my life that day. This'll probably surprise you, but if you wouldn't have come that day I probably would've just drowned myself.

I assume if your reading this then I'm most likely gone. I'll miss your warm smiles and your comforting hugs the most, but please move on for me. And if you ever forget me, that's okay. It happens.

I wish I've could've spent more time with you, but the day's that I did spend with you I cherished.

I know getting over someone's death isn't easy, but give yourself time.

If your ever feeling down just now that brighter days lay ahead of you.

And even though I'm not here, knowing you I'll bet you'll do great things in the future.

Of course, I'm going to miss you dearly. Your passionate ways, your overwhelming sincerity. I find it a blessing that you were even in my life.

Thank you for holding me safely in your arms. Thank you for bringing people I thought I'd never see again back into my life. And most importantly, thank you for being here with me.

You made me feel like I actually mattered in this cruel world. You opened up my eye's and I wish I had more time so I could return the favor.

Lukas you knew how to comfort me, but I'm so sorry that I couldn't stay and do the same for you. But I'm glad that I trusted you with my heart and for once I can say that I actually did something right.

And even though I'm gone, I just want you to know that when you were by my side I was able to cope.

I've been looking at myself lately and I guess I came a long way.

Just know that your always worth so much more than you think. I love you. Now. And forever. Throughout life and death.

-Yours truly Jesse

Lukas closed the book and tears streamed down his pale face, his chest tight.

"I love you too Jesse," Lukas fell to his knees, "I know this technically wasn't the deal, but it's not against it either," Lukas said then unsheathed his iron sword and whispered softly.

"Besides I just can't live life without you," With that Lukas stabbed himself in the chest and punctured his broken heart.

Blood splattered on Jesse's grave and on the bouquet of rose's and Lukas died in front of Jesse's grave.

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....

The end of this story already eh. Seems like I was just starting it yesterday. xD

Fun fact: Some of the dialogue in this book was based off of conversations that I had with some people.

I'm really gonna miss this book. I really loved writing it or should I say rewriting some parts of it too.

If you don't know the book was originally out last May or last year, but I discontinued it, but I decided to continue it so here I am.

I'm just gonna say this though. This book has a deeper meaning to it more than you'll probably ever know.

Thanks for sticking around til the end and I guess I'll see ya again someday. <3