GIDDY ✓

VENTINOVE

[ 1983 ]
the middle of summer with a hopeful love and giddy smiles

VENTINOVE

Kyong and Marco engage in a quiet, purposeful talk.

about the future.

they lie beside each other in Marco's isolated garden. vines of emerald twist around the entrance fence, around the area as they grow naturally. the blanket of sapphire decorated in white, flossy clouds are all they can see as they stare upwards. their arms graze each other, legs tickling and they stare, smell the scent of the peaches that trickle the thirst on their tongues. the taste reminding both of them just how sweet the other tastes.

the picnic in the garden would've settled nice with a trouble free conversation about how much they adore each other, watching Kyong draw and Marco write ... but the two unexpectedly started to talk about the future of them. they didn't expect a nasty turn.

"what do you think will happen to us?" Kyong requests, hiding the anxiety in his question. he's never felt so afraid to lose someone. with Juwon and his mother, they're permanent. with his sweet, dedicated and merciful lover Marco, he could lose him any second and that thought makes Kyong feel horrible.

"there's two options." Marco states. his eyes blink at the sunny sky above them, interest darting to the birds, cloud shapes and the trees. "logically, i'm going to have to get married to a girl and bring honour to my family. i have to live a normal heterosexual life." he states. it's what's expected from him- his family.

"and if i think using my heart ... then i'm going to have to elope with you." Marco doesn't laugh along with Kyong. the younger realises he's being serious. eloping together?- Kyong never thought of such a possibility. the facial expression his meaningful boyfriend holds makes him feel intimidated- blinking eyes, harsh gulps and pursued lips.

"which do you think you'll do?" Kyong asks curiously.

Marco clicks his tongue and still stares at the sky. "i don't know." he speaks truthfully. Kyong just hopes he'll choose him when the time comes. "i can't promise you a future and it kills me." Marco adds uneasily.

Kyong stays quiet as he finishes his peach, wiping the juice that drips down his neck with the back of his sleeve. there's too much on his mind.

"you know i want to be with you right?"

Kyong nods. i want to be with you too. "it doesn't seem like you want to do any of those options." he remarks, knowing the older- the options don't fit his beliefs and values.

"i don't know what's going to happen to us." Marco sighs, leaning his head back as he flicks his hand through his dusky locks. Kyong can tell Marco feels relieved to warn him of their future yet, they're both distressed.

"maybe the uncertainty is a good thing." Kyong suggests, sitting up on his elbows. he wants to see positivity in their future. he wants to fight for them. things might not be as bright as they hope- it won't always be happy, giddy smiles as they wake up with each other, hands tangling in their hair as they whisper i love you's or even living together.

but they'll have each other. fighting is an option isn't it?

"maybe that way we can decide when the time comes." Kyong continues. time is everything. it is healing and helpful if you allow it to be. he doesn't want them to make rushing decisions now- he wants them to live now.