GIDDY ✓

TRENTACINQUE

[ 1984 ]
LAST CHAPTER

TRENTACINQUE

it's the next year, the month of May.

things have modified. Marco officially finished his last year of university and graduated with great grades. his family and friends attended, dousing him with hugs and presents. let's just say, he finally got the camera and Van Gogh notebook he so badly wanted.

Kyong finished his first year in university successfully. he dealt with exams and assignments and seems to appreciate what life has brought him.

Marco and Kyong lean against the balcony that Kyong's mother had built. she really made it. anything for her son. the boys spend lots of their time up there, like right now, they're infatuated by each other's presence as they watch the sunset ending a regular day.

"i'll never get over this balcony." sun kissed, glamorous and familiar Kyong breathes out as he leans forward on his arms, eyes darting around the high, lush treetops and the sky view before landing finally on his boyfriend.

"it's my safe space." Kyong adds, still staring at Marco's majestic features. his eyes can't look away and he's still amazed by his beauty.

Marco nods in agreement, hands holding onto the edge of the painted balcony. "your mother did a great job." he smiles, admiring the image that he can see in a painting- trees, sunset, people walking home and him smiling sadly.

there's a thought in Marco and Kyong's mind. one they wished to forget but one that never left their minds. they pushed it away.

"remember when we talked about one day having to let go of each other?" Marco inquires, fiddling with his fingers as he avoids the youngers gaze. Kyong's gotten too good at reading his emotions and it's alarming.

Kyong nods.

Marco speaks and Kyong wished he hadn't. "i want you to break up with me. break my heart." the older speaks, voice clear with genuineness. he's being utterly serious.

Kyong turns towards his lover, giving him his full attention. "Marco. what? where is this coming from?" he asks frantically, hands afraid to touch him. "we were fine a couple of days ago."

Marco stays silent for seconds that feel like long hours for Kyong. he's waiting and waiting and waiting. "my parents came home with someone for me." he states, no emotion on his face or in his tone of voice. the atmosphere is completely serious. Kyong can't believe what he's hearing. "they told me i need to think about marriage."

Kyong knew this day would come. he just didn't think it would come so soon. "don't forget about me." he hears his admirer speak. it sounds so easy and casual to Marco that it makes Kyong cross and irritated.

Marco and Kyong can't bare to look at each other. they're both tied by a string of oppressive sadness. "i can't fight for us. i can't fight for you."

Kyong forces himself not to cry as his heart tears at his words. "why not?" can i not fight for us?

"because of my family."

Kyong knows how much family means to Marco. it's his priority and responsibility. "i know. i've understood that and i always will ... but i won't break up with you." he declares.

he refuses to. Kyong cannot break up with the man who has given him a changed, beautiful world of love, euphoria and giddiness.

Marco is close to tears. it's obvious the two are finding it hard to stay strong. they've just learnt that it's okay to be open and vulnerable with your emotions. "please. i promised myself i wouldn't break your heart or hurt you."

you already have- Kyong thinks.

"you've always been so understanding and good to me you know?"

Kyong doesn't want Marco to hate himself. it's not his fault. he's always been understanding of the older and his situation. "and so have you. i know we love each other but our circumstances are inevitable and we can survive."

Marco steps back before Kyong can take his hands in his. the hope in doe, brown eyes makes his heart break. "i don't know about that." he admits tiredly. "in another life .. maybe we could've been together forever."

"in this life i can't be with you and i'm sorry." Marco feels tears run down his face and he doesn't bother to wipe them away. his heart is fucking breaking. "at least i found my soulmate."

we used to say we were young wild and free but were we ever free? we were unsure and not stable.

—

i'll post the epilogue soon :(