GIDDY ✓

TRENTADUE

[ 1983 ]
a longing summer of temporary love

TRENTADUE

remember how Marco desperately wanted to visit the beach?

the young boy finally got to. it had been too long and the misery immediately drifted away when he arrived. when he thought of coming to the beach again, he never expected to come with a lover that is his neighbour.

the couple are painting at the beach. the paintings that are developing due to their creativity, attachment and adoration for one another makes the activity entertaining. Kyong is so glad he convinced Marco to paint him.

the waves greet the sand, blankets under people, ice cream vans in the distance, scarlet sunglasses on top of Marco's head, black wavy locks on Kyong's, exposed sandy feet, sweaty palms, lollipops, blue and vivid skies- the aesthetic of their day makes Kyong combust. he's enjoying it way too much! (he tries not to get distracted and focused back on his painting of his luxurious sweetheart).

Kyong glances at Marco's canvas- eyes bulging as he stops his paintbrush from stroking golden paint. "i thought you weren't good at painting." he quotes the olders words, amazed by how beautiful his painting is.

after that, talented Kyong falls silent and nods with small smiles every time Marco speaks. he even eats his lunch quietly. Marco can tell something is bothering his boyfriend.

"you've been quiet today." Marco mentions, flicking his paintbrush- not noticing how a blue stain falls upon his rosy, chubby cheek.

Kyong is glad Marco noticed. he doesn't meet his staring, questioning gaze. "i've been thinking-" he trails off, voice still oddly quiet.

Marco can't help but get a negative vibe from Kyong's apprehensiveness and struggling thoughts. "about what?" he cuts in, anxious already.

when Kyong stays muted, Marco places his palm against his forehead in vexation. he should've known. "oh god." he grumbles, placing his paintbrush down. "the future again?"

Kyong nods. "ever since you brought it up ... it's constant." his voice is small as he brings his hand up to paint delicate strokes of leaden paint but he physically can't. he's overthinking.

Kyong opens up to his listening boyfriend. "the future is so mysterious and we're walking into it blind." he states truthfully.

it's evident in the way Kyong speaks that he's thought about this repeatedly. Marco didn't realise just how much it influenced the younger. "i want to cherish the time we have together." he murmurs genuinely, now concentrating back on his paintbrush and canvas. "even if our love is forbidden."

Marco feels his heart sink and rise at the same time. he's feeling too much. he wants Kyong to have the whole world because he deserves nothing but a life and love that is gratified.

but Marco can't help but feel as though he deserves better than him. Kyong deserves someone who can promise him a future, a love that isn't forbidden but safe. all Marco can do is wrap his arms around the skinny, polite younger and give him his own version of a safe home. what if that isn't enough one day?

Marco feels grateful for Kyong's words because they reassure him at the same time as worry him. he wants to treasure their time together too, despite knowing their future holds uncertainty. but doesn't everyone's? they're each other's now and it's beautiful.