Extra Special Boy

Diagnosis

For the next few years we took things one day at time, lived life and handled issues. Zach and Katie grew pretty normally, and were getting cuter by the day! I'm biased... I'm allowed to be.

I first suspected Zach might have Autism, or be on the Spectrum, when he was about a year old. He could take any round object and spin it with an incredible precision that is difficult for adults. I waived it off as a cute trick he could do. Every kid does cute things at this age, so I wasn't too worried.

I became more worried, though. He became very aggressive with his sister, and didn't talk too much past saying "cookie." By the time he was 2, I had asked our "Parents as Teachers" teacher what she thought. She said, "Zach has his quirks, that are unique to Zach, but I don't think he's autistic." I used that as a mantra any time someone said something to me.

When we went for a visit to Georgia for Christmas in 2008, I really, finally, faced the facts: Zach was not developing normally for his age. He threw toys, a lot, and hit or pulled Katie's hair (we found out later he was just trying to communicate to her that he wanted to play with her). If we spanked him for it, or put him in time out, he laughed, unphased.

To say I was emotionally stressed and spent could be an understatement. My husband had left for his second tour in Korea. Why do they call it a tour? He's in the same place most of the time. It should be called a "term," like a Congressman or the President. That seems more accurate. Anyway, we had his mom and niece living with us at that time, so I did have extra help, but once again, that's a story all on its own (my life is full of those).

He came home halfway through his tour to spend a month with us. I don't remember much about that entire month, except for one day: the day Zach was diagnosed.

Zach and I had already been to Kansas City twice for hearing tests, which were inconclusive, and another for his initial evaluation by a psychologist. We'd been through quite a bit. We had, early that year, taken him to his doctor, who made referrals for us to get the ball rolling. Getting tested and diagnosed, and then getting services, takes a long time, especially if Army Medicine is involved (I'm not knocking it: we have healthcare, but it's not known for its quick turn around time). He was evaluated by the preschool here, as was Katie, and both had started school, on their little short bus, in March.

So we went to Kansas City, without the kids, to see the psychologist and hear the team decision. We didn't want to know, but we had to, for the sake of our family; for the life of our child.

Nervous would not come close to describing how I felt waiting for her to tell us what was going on with Zach. When she finally told us, I felt like I had both a weight lifted off my shoulders and the air taken out of me simultaneously. Knowing helped. Knowing made life harder, though.

His official diagnosis was: Moderate to Sever Autism (now only moderate), Impulse Control Disorder (precursor to ADHD), and Mental Retardation.