{warning: suicidal thoughts are described}
°․~❅ ~ ❀ ~ ❅~․°
VIII
❝말로는 지운다 해도, 사실 난 아직 널 보내지 못하는데...❞
❝I say I'm going to erase you, but actually, I still can't let you go...❞
°․~❅ ~ ❀ ~ ❅~․°
She shuddered as a ripping breeze stole her breathe as she looked at the snow covered stones. The names were nearly illegible, yet they burned at her mind.
"... I'm sorry I never brought flowers. I got... caught up with things."
A moment passed, and a shiver quivered up her spine. The silence was screaming at her, it's quiet scoldings making her wince.
She knew it was the worst, most pathetic excuse, but she couldn't--or rather, wouldn't speak the truth.
The truth about her resentment.
The truth about her loneliness.
The truth about herself.
But she knew she had to. She knew, if she didn't, her life would never move forward. She was fine with that, but she knew that Rosy and Love wouldn't be.
"... I—I... hate you. Both of you. I want to hate you two. But I just... can't. And I hate myself for wanting to hate you, and for not being able to. I'm tired of it all. I just want to sleep. That's the only time when I can get away from me, and closer to you two. I just want to be with you guys right now. But, I know you'd kill me for killing myself. I don't know what to do, guys."
She sat down with a strained sigh between the headstone, ignoring the biting sensation of the snow.
"What do I do? Do I just, what, live? Do I live when all I want to do is not have to be alive? Everything would be so much more simple if I just fell asleep and never woke up. But I can't. I can't, because I promised. And as much as I want to blame you for breaking the promise, you guys had no choice."
The clouds that blanketed the day from light and warmth began to swirl with a blast of freezing cold wind. It was so loud and painful.
I just want the cold to stop...
YOU ARE READING
Spring Day
Short Story❝until the days of flower blossoms, please stay, please stay there a little longer...❞ in which her love and rose, evanesce and wilt. © _ascendant, 2019
