Room 301 [Zarry]

where hearts wander

"Morning," he mumbles, ruffling my curls. "Does your head hurt, do you need some medicine?"

"I've felt better," I joke, wincing as I sit up, pressing my head against the headboard.

"Be careful babe," he warns softly, tucking a pillow behind my head.

Babe. It slipped out so casually, like he didn't even notice. My heart flutters in my chest.

"I'm going to strip the bed and wash everything, maybe hang out at Lana's or go out and do something but please skip the alcohol, okay?"

Yup, he's the sweetest. Softest ghost there ever was.

"Zayn," I say quietly, sudden nervousness washing over me. "Can you maybe wash the sheets later?"

He places his hand on my forehead, breath warm as it fans across my skin.

"What's wrong, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I reply, hand finding his wrist. "I'd just rather sleep off my hangover for a bit and then maybe I can go out later and grab something to eat. I'm just not feeling like myself."

"Okay," he whispers. "Whatever makes you feel better."

I'm in a slight daze, confused as he rustles around the room. Is he...cleaning?

"Well how am I supposed to nap without you beside me?"

He laughs and the bed shakes, mattress sinking under his weight. "Close your mouth and close your eyes."

"What's wrong with my mouth," I ask sassily. "Is it too big?"

"Actually yes, you talk entirely way too much. It's exhausting, you drain my energy with your needy requests-"

I can't fight the growing smile on my face, try to suppress my giggles. "I'm needy?"

"Very," he confirms, humming softly.

My fingers find his cheek and he lets out a tiny gasp, seems surprised by my boldness and the coolness of my fingertips. "How long will it take for you to admit that you secretly like it? You're always caving in to my needs."

"You wish," he snorts. "You have this all backwards."

"How so," I ask curiously.

"Just admit that you want to be held, that you'd much rather be in my arms right now." My hand stills and he chuckles softly because he knows how well he has me pinned.

"Yeah," I exhale. "I'm not denying anything. I don't like being alone, I like being surrounded with warmth and joy and all things-"

"Harry," he whispers, finally drawing me into his arms. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," I reply, feeling slightly breathless.

and all things you

I swear I almost said it and I can't understand why. "You know I bend for you," he whispers, fingers tracing over my shoulder blades. "And how happy your happiness makes me."

"Zayn," his name falls out of my mouth just barely there. "I still don't get why you care so much. One day all of your dreams are finally going to come true."

"So are yours," he assures. "And if they don't then I have failed you."

"It isn't that deep," I sigh. "Like you don't need to take responsibility for my actions or feel guilty if things don't work out the way I want them to. Part of you is just clinging to this idea that it will all go horribly wrong and I'm sorry that it did for you...I really am. But we're different people, with different dreams."

The silence scares me more than anything.

"Have I offended you," I ask, concerned.

"Maybe I was confused all along." It sounds like a revelation tumbling from his lips, he has that little lightbulb moment and I'm confused but happy for him. "Of course my dreams never came true...they were unclear. I still don't know what they are. They weren't fame, they weren't wealth-"

His thoughts fade out

My heart is still feeling some type of way, you know I bend for you

"I don't want you to feel obliged to cave to my wants, I think part of the problem for you has always been neglecting yourself, neglecting your feelings and what you want. What do you want Zayn?"

"I dunno," he answers truthfully. "I was hoping you'd help me realize."

"You know, I accept that it's okay to be needy. We all have our needs, things we desperately want...big dreams, silly dreams but life is this big journey, it's this chasing of said dreams and it isn't easy, I get that. It's going backwards to go forward, it's getting lost and being led astray and ending up at wrong destinations. It's meeting kind strangers along the way, it's people and places that change everything. Speed bumps and detours and red lights and no one gives you a map to follow Zayn. It's just this crazy beautiful ride."

His hand cups my face so gently. "Please tell me why those are the most sober thoughts I've ever heard you speak."

I smile sheepishly. "Usually the final destination is unknown. We might think our entire lives that we were made for something, destined to end up somewhere and we find ourselves miles and miles from where we intended-"

He brushes his nose against mine and must understand me perfectly as he says "we let our hearts wander Harry and where they lead, our bodies follow."

My God. I love him. I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him-

"I want a lot of things right now," I admit, blush spreading through my cheeks.

"Me too," I swear I can feel him smile.

My heart is beating crazy fast, I've never expressed myself this openly before, I've never trusted so soon and for a moment, I don't quite care how far I fall or how hard I come crashing down because it's too late to turn back. This thing that we have keeps budding and I'm not ready to let it die but I'm cautious. We both keep sprinkling water but not enough to really blossomed.

kiss me

There it is, stuck on the tip of my tongue but my heart goes tripping up. My brain keeps reminding me of Kit and how happy she made me, how I don't want to hurt her. Zayn is temporary, he won't always be here and it kills me. If I go giving my heart to him, it'll end up broken. It's not fair to him, it isn't his fault. He would take such good care of it.

It's just realization that he'll discover those lost dreams and in the process, I'll lose him.