Room 301 [Zarry]

in an instant

"Harry! Harry," her screams bounce off the walls, shrill and terrifying like they're ripping at the back of her throat. I sprint into the bathroom, heart dropping to the bottom of my chest. I'm completely traumatized, trying to control my breathing but I'm panicking, hands trembling. "Why is there so much blood, why is this happening, why-"

Her body is in a thin pool of blood, there's a sheen of sweat on her body, face deathly pale. "Harry I'm so lightheaded," she's drifting, keeps pressing her hand to her abdomen.

"It's okay butterfly, everything will be okay." I kiss her cheek, hurriedly dial 911. My heart is racing. I wait and wait and wait, trying to clean the blood with a towel. Her pulse is so quick, breaths shallow. "Hang in there butterfly. Be strong. Can you be strong for me?"

"I l-love you," she stutters, eyes threatening to close..

Tears blur my vision, I keep stroking her forehead, reach for her hand. "I love you so much more Kit. I love you to the moon and back."

                                                                                             🦋

The beep of machines and all the tubes make me sick to my stomach. I sit in the chair next to her hospital bed for hours, whisper sweet-nothings and kiss her skin. The nurses are in and out. Her face is still drained of color, cheeks flushed but it slowly comes back. Her heartbeat is steady, I try to remain calm, eyes trained on the gold butterfly around her neck.

"Harry," he whispers, making his presence known. "She's going to be okay. You did everything you were supposed to, okay? This isn't your fault."

"S-she was hemorrhaging," I squeeze my eyes shut, nightmarish images still flashing though my head. "She was just sweating profusely and there was blood everywhere, the tile was just flooded in blood. They said her blood pressure dropped dangerously low, t-they said-"

"Shh," his fingers run through my messy curls. "She's stable Harry."

"How do I cope with this," I ask, tears falling down my cheeks. "This is going to crush her Zayn. I can't live with seeing her depressed, I can't watch her unravel every time she remembers. What do I do? Oh God," there's a pang in my chest, a sharp intense pain and I nearly vomit.

My head is throbbing and the tears won't stop. Even when I think my eyes are dry and can't produce any more tears, they well up again, threaten to spill everywhere.

"This won't break you Harry. I know you'll grow from this...it's going to be really hard but you'll be okay. You can't think like that. You're the light of her life Harry, I know you can help her through this and I'm always here if you need me."

"Why is this happening to her," I ask, voice entirely broken. "I'd do anything to take away the hurt. She doesn't deserve any of this. I hate this. I hate myself. I fucking hate everything," I let out a pained cry, heart completely deflating. "I feel so helpless."

He wraps me up and I don't fight it, just fall apart inside his arms. "You always fight for what you believe in. If you truly love Kit, you'll be strong for her. I know you can do it."

"I miss you," I confess. "I don't want you to think I only care about you when I need help or when it's convenient for me."

"How I feel doesn't matter. If it did-"

There he goes again, trailing off his thoughts. He leaves everything so incomplete. It drives me insane.

"Be there for her Harry."

I feel a gust of air and he's gone just like that. It's strange how life works, how things come and go in an instant. Feelings come and go, pain comes and goes, even people. It's hard to see someone you love be so vulnerable. Nothing is more fragile and more remarkable than human life, losing it could take a huge toll on her mental health, put a strain on our relationship. I make a promise that I'll follow Zayn's advice and be there for Kit.

She immediately smiles when she wakes up which is such a relief. It warms my heart. "How are you feeling," I ask, ruffling her hair.

"Sad," her voice cuts out, single tear streaking down her cheek. "Just really sad and empty. I'm sorry Harry."

"No baby, this is out of your hands. Please don't blame yourself. Terrible things happen sometimes and there's no reason behind it. Life throws a lot at you but everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe that."

"How can you say that," she sniffles. "We lost our baby Harry. That isn't supposed to happen!"

She tries to fight my hands away, full-on sobbing and I don't know what to do. "I never wanted anything like this to happen my butterfly but we can move on from this. You just have to trust me."

"I do," she whispers. "I trust you with my whole heart. I'm sorry for being angry. I'm just so tired of how life has treated me. You're all I have to live for a-and I wanted this. I wanted this so bad Harry. I wanted to start a family with you."

I kiss her softly and the doctor interrupts, checks her vitals. There's fluid running through the IV, a sticky bandage on her arm. It's all bruised up but she's safe and I keep reminding myself that. Things were going so well, it was only a matter of time before everything came tumbling down. That's how it goes around here. This whole city is cursed. We could move far away, grow old and fat and happy somewhere else. It doesn't matter where we go.

My home is in her heart.

But then there's Zayn, I can't forget about him and his attachment to room 301. Besides, I wouldn't want to abandon him. He was a friend to me when I had nothing. He saved me several times, saved Kit. Saved our relationship. Despite the way I've treated him, he's still patient and kind. When things go wrong he's always there to check on me.

I'm anxious as the doctor gives the verdict but everything is alright and they approve her dismissal.

There are so many things I want to say to reassure her but instead I draw her a hot bath and tuck her into bed. She's exhausted, weakly curls up beside me.

My heart is at peace. I kiss the line on her forehead, realizing how close I was to losing her. I force my mind to switch over to better thoughts and how quickly I fell in love with Kit.

Like most things in life, in an instant.