Room 301 [Zarry]

butterfly wings

"Harry! Harry, what's going on darling? Lana called me and told me to come home immediately. I dropped everything, I was so worried."

I'm ashamed that she catches me stumbling around in this state, hair a matted mess, tripping over nothing and slurring my words. She catches my fall, steadily guides me to the bed, her tiny hand on the small of my back. "You promised me you'd work on this. Harry you can't keep drinking like this, it frightens me."

"N-no, I'm okay. I'm okay. I fucking swear I'm fine. Just have a small headache. I'm fine, everything is fine. I love you," I say, speaking my only sober thoughts. "I love you loads Kit. Sit up, lemme braid your hair."

She doesn't say anything, just lets my fingers brush through her hair, twisting it into two large braids. "Drunk people cannot braid hair this well."

"Okay," she giggles. "But you're still drunk Harry. What's going on with you? Is it us? It's okay to tell me, I promise."

"Course not," I respond, kissing the tender spot on the top of her head. "I hate that I'm like this. You deserve so much better, please don't leave me."

"I'd never leave you like this," she whispers, fingers combing through the knots in my hair. "You don't need to be going to the Chateau or staying out late and partying. There are other ways to have fun."

I've hit an all-time low. Drinking isn't fun to me. I don't know how I can convince her that I'm not a party animal. It just temporarily distorts reality, ironically makes me feel like less of a mess. I'm in a state of denial, trying to ignore Zayn. It's unhealthy. I've been confiding more in Kit lately because I need her. Zayn is nothing more than a beautiful distraction. He's not helping me, his presence only makes things worse.

So what happens if I help him fulfill he dreams and then he's gone forever?

"I don't like getting faded like this," I admit, embarrassment striking me. There's heat in my cheeks as I reveal the truth. "Lately I've just been really confused about what I want. I don't like being used by my label but I don't want to let them down or piss them off. I've been dreaming of making it out here since I was a kid and if I let my attitude ruin it...my behavior is inexcusable. Please don't get the wrong idea of who I am or think that I don't care about making us work. I'll do whatever it takes to turn things around. You're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Harry," she smiles, face wet with tears. "What makes you think I don't believe you? Whoever made you feel this way...whatever is bothering you, tell me. Never let anything change who you are inside. You're bubbly and silly and the kindest person I have ever met and I am so in love with you. If there's a situation that you need to remove yourself from then don't be afraid to do it. Sales and cash and the promise of fame are never more important than your mental health."

"I know! I know Kit. I've never been someone to care about those things. This city just makes you do stupid things sometimes. I would never let anything come between us. I just want to make music I like and I want other people to like it too, I want them to connect with me."

"Just like when you sing to me," she whispers, nose brushing mine as she kisses me. "Go in the studio and record what you feel inside your heart. If anyone tries to stop you I'll fight them."

We can't stop laughing at that, Kit claiming she'd fight someone. It's still adorable. I love her so much. "You're the cutest," I grin, climbing on top of her. "I'm feeling much more sober now."

"Are you," she asks with a laugh.

"I only had a couple of drinks, you know I'm a lightweight babe."

Our lips are crashing, a beautiful collision as my tongue parts her mouth. I'm fully aware of the arousal inside of my boxers, slide my fingers beneath her thin lace underwear, feel her slickness. She gasps into my mouth, tries to catch her breath as I pull away. My fingers continue their soft little dance and she presses her forehead to mine, softly moans my name. It's the sweetest sound to ever grace my ears. I get her off quickly and her body goes weak, head hitting the pillow with a soft thud.

"We're not having sex," she says firmly. "Just so you know. I'm supposed to be very mad at you," she huffs, folds her arms over her chest defiantly and I chuckle, knuckles grazing her jaw.

"You never stay mad baby.  Can I give you cuddles?"

She rolls her eyes but lets me wrap my arms around her waist and I leave feather soft kisses all over her skin, press my nose to the nape of her neck. Kit is so dainty, everything about her feminine and pretty.

"You're so precious," I murmur, breath tickling her skin. "My butterfly. I'll love you forever and always."

If I speak it aloud enough, maybe my heart will find some truth in it. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'd be so lost without you." I speak it into existence.

"You give me wings Harry."

My heart trills. "Don't go flying away," I say, tickling her sides. "My sweet, beautiful butterfly. Stay with me in our little cocoon."

Her giggles are a blessing, I'm crying silent tears of happiness. This is someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. Anytime I break apart she's there to encourage me and to pick up the pieces. She believes in me more than I believe in myself. Unlike Zayn, she doesn't send me mixed signals or mess with my heart. Her love is full and genuine. I want to be with her. My mind settles with a sense of conviction. Kit loves me more than anything in the entire world and I owe her the same.

Why was I so confused? I feel it all click into place, that final puzzle piece.

The wing of a butterfly.