Just A Drag No One Wants To Inhale

Who Will Buy This Wonderful Evening And Put It In A Box For Me?

***

It rained on my way back home again, but instead of trudging through the puddles on the sidewalk, I skipped the whole way home.

A song that my mother always sang to me during thunderstorms when I hid under the blankets came out of my mouth. A happy, bouncy song. And until Willz pointed it out much later, it was also a love song.

***

"Just singing in the rain,

I'm singing in the rain,

What a glorious feeling,

I'm happy again..." 

***

I sang as I burst open the front door of my home.

I smelled cookies wafting through the air and decided to go into the kitchen after I shook my head like a dog and left my shoes by the door, even if I knew that my mother would make me move them later.

But none of that mattered in that moment.

All that mattered was that I was happy, and there was a sweet cookie in the kitchen waiting for me.

I kiss my mother's cheek as she washed some dishes, "How was your day, Mom?" I asked her lovingly as I took a cookie of the the cookie sheet that rested on the counter. And with the cookie in my mouth, I pulled out a glass from the cabinet and a carton of milk from the fridge.

My mother looked at me, dumb-struck. "I, uh, it was pretty uneventful..." She looked at me curiously as I hummed and poured some milk in the glass, dipping my cookie in and taking another bite from it. "... What about your  day, honey? You seem like you're in a lovely mood."

I smirked and put the carton of milk back to it's place. "Oh, it was great. Marvelous. Wonderful... Hey!" My eyes widened as I completely changed the subject of the conversation unknowingly. "Did you ever notice the way flowers smell in the rain? There's something just so raw  about it-"

"I bet..." My mother giggled, knowing something that I don't. "What was so great, marvelous  and wonderful  about today?"

"Oh, you know..." I smiled again, eating another bite of my milk-soaked cookie. "...The fact that people noticed me was pretty good."

"I see... Who on earth were these kind people?"

"Jorden and," I sighed like I was in love or something. "Jamia..."

"Oh? And how on earth did they break the ice with you?"

"Well..." I wouldn't dare admit to my mother that today I had my, maybe sixth cigarette in the span of two days and tried out weed with Jorden, as his mouth was barely three inches away from mine in a graffitied bathroom stall. I could tell her the truth about how I became oh so infatuated with Jamia, no problem. But it's Jorden  that I'm worried about.

"He noticed my bandages," I said finally as I held my right hand up and shook it a little. "And he noticed that I stayed in the same place for breaks and stuff, so he invited me to hang out with him and his friends."

This wasn't technically a lie, I just forgot to mention certain details that my mother doesn't really need to know.

She frowned a little at my verbal response like something was missing. "What about Willz? Was he in school today?"

"What? Oh, yeah. He came with us." I lied easily.

This whole 'Willz being a friend at school' thing could potentially be problem when I possibly bring Jorden around and my mother starts asking about Willz in front of him. But that won't happen any time soon; Jorden and I just met, I don't think he'd be comfortable with meeting my parents just yet.

We should wait and see if this relationship is a serious thing before I bring him around to see my parents...

...

...

...

Wait, no, that's sounds super gay.

Then again, the first time that I even met him we didn't leave any room for the Holy Spirit to dance as well, so maybe it's not so shocking that I think of him in that way... Though I'm sure he just sees me as a little brother or a baby bird he's taken under his wings...

"I see... And this Jamia?" My mother continued, leaning over the counter and resting her chin at her hand. "What about her?"

"I, uh, was too excited to meet up with Jorden for second break, so, honestly, I didn't really pay a lot of attention in class."

"Frankie..."  My mother warned with a look that said, 'You should know better.'

"I know, I know," I waved my hand dismissively and my mother rolled her eyes. "But anyway, before I even ran off to find Jorden, she stopped me and gave me her notes that she copied down for me. But she kind of made it seem like it was no big deal, like she's done it a million times." I recounted.

My mother let out a low whistle and chuckled, like she remembered something. Like she's heard or even lived  this story before. "It sounds like she's a little harder to get than the other girls."

"Tell  me about it." I sighed.

My mother smiled to herself as I ate the rest of my cookie and she took my glass and drained it down the sink. She knows that I think that milk is gross unless paired with cookies or in literally anything else: just not by itself, that's just weird.

But every time that I go over to my grandfather's or whenever they come over - which seems to be the case for today, as my mother is baking - they always tell me to have a glass of milk with my dinner. And I do. And I don't complain about it. But that doesn't mean that I like it all of a sudden when they come over.

"Your grandparents are coming over, sweetie, so why don't you change out of your school clothes and I'll call you down when they get here."

"Okay... What about Dad? I haven't seen him in like, two days."

"He went to go pick them up." She replied curtly.

"For two days?"  I stressed, my mother not meeting my eyes and busying herself with drying the dishes. "Ma, they live twenty minutes away."

"Frank go upstairs to your room, I will not repeat myself." She said loudly, throwing her dish towel on the counter and breathing heavily.

My feet were glued to the floor before I felt Willz lead me up to my bedroom, a hand on my back and basically pushing me up the stairs and away from my unhappy mother. He closed the door softly behind him. Locking it as well.

I sank into my armchair and didn't know how or what to feel... Evidently feeling numb. No words reached my ears and nothing tingled any of my senses...

Floating. 

I was floating. 

In the middle of the ocean with no lifeline.

Who'll throw it to me?

I sat there, staring at the static in the air for a long, long time before I heard a knocking at the door and my grandad's familiar voice...

I pulled the lifeline.

***