|Repairing a Broken Heart| Todomatsu x Depressed!Reader

Chapter 18

Confess

Your POV:

"I'm sorry for betraying you..."

I watched in confusion, not understanding what he meant.

Was he talking about me?

Todomatsu lifted his head up and sighed, staring at the runway. A small hiccup was heard, I couldn't see him, but I had the feeling he was crying. I took a small gulp as I step forward. "Totty."

Todo quickly turned around to see me. Tears were streaming down red puffy cheeks. He quickly wipes his eyes and got up from his knees and makes his way over to me. A smile made his way across his face, as he tried to seem more happy.

"I'm so glad you came, (Y/n)," he confessed and he wraps his arms around me, hugging me tightly. 

I hesitated for a bit, but eventually I hugged him back. We stood like that for awhile, Totty gripping onto me like I was going to disappear. I waited for him to let go, and once he did, he took off his blue formal blazer and laid it on the ground on top of the grass and dirt.

"Here, Sit down, please," He does his best to smile as he spreads out the blazer.

"Are... Are You sure? I don't Want to ruin your clothes..."

"No No, It's ok. I don't mind at all, I rather you sitting on my blazer than the ground," Totty insisted as he helped me sit down. 

I made sure My body was on the clothing so I wouldn't get get dirt on my own clothing. The gesture was very sweet, but wasn't necessary. Todomatsu sits beside me as we both face the runway. The silence was very awkward between us, I was unsure if I could be the one to break it. Thankfully I didn't have to because he started to speak.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/n)... I... I'm trying to understand this type of stuff..."

"What stuff?" I turned over to face him, questioning what he meant.

"This... anxiety stuff... the depression... what self harm is... mental illness, I'm trying my best to understand it.  I really am, but I can't wrap my head around the subject and... I'm so sorry about all the things I said about your cousin and making you cry..." Todomatsu was looking down the whole time, but he eventually looked up to face me. Tears were streaming down his face, a hiccup escapes his mouth.

"I am trying to understand what it is, I really am. I-"

"Totty, it's alright," I interrupted him as he kept apologizing. I've never seen him like this, he's a mess.

"B-but I need to say this now. I-I can't have what I said affecting you and your cousin without trying to apologize for my behavior and actions. I want to take it all back, but I know I can't... I can only say sorry, and it will never be enough..."

Todomatsu was sobbing through his words now. He kept wiping his eyes with his wrist, letting out a few hiccups. He stared at the runway as I lean over and place a hand on his back in comfort.

"Todo, I said its alright. I understand that you are sorry, but you don't have to cry over it-,"

"I want to fix the mistakes I made unlike last time with her!" He shouted, as he turns his head towards me. Letting me see his red puffy eyes as tears trailed down his cheeks. 

His words finally struck me, 'Unlike last time with her'... The only other person I know that he treated badly was...

Me...