|Repairing a Broken Heart| Todomatsu x Depressed!Reader

(A/N) About the Story and for Future Projects

It's been awhile hasn't it?

You weren't expecting this were you, HA!

I always like going through comments that people post on this reader insert I made.

I created this story in my senior year when I was 18. I'm 21 now and I'm my 3rd year of college.
Time really does fly, huh.

Sometimes I go back to read my writing and thing "God what was I thinking on that part?", "Oh my gosh the grammar is horrible, why can't I notice these things before posting them?!", "Ah yes, I can tell I was in the middle of a thought and then backtracked... That's why the sentence looks like that.

The whole idea behind this story was from me having a nightmare after I went to bed overthinking on relationships with fictional characters... Yep. 

When I finished the story in June of 2019, my only thought was to just finish the story so I can stop procrastination against it. I tend to start on projects and then get distracted and do something else. 

Also while making THIS story, I was in the middle of making my Marvel x Reader, "One World Meets Another". So that proves this story was the distraction of something else, and then I got distracted from this story. But I'm very proud of myself to at least finish it.

The whole main reason for posting this A/N is because I received some texts and comments from the past asking for the cover picture. 

... And I could never find it...

But today I have! So, HA!

I also wish to talk about the story, the characters, ideas that could have been in the story, and what other fanfiction ideas I have and still wish to write.

The story

 I was rereading the story again to get my thoughts in order, basically just revisiting what I was thinking at the time when I was writing. "Repairing a Broken heart" was about Todomatsu Matsuno pitying the reader for always being alone, so he pretended to be her friend. After their High School graduation, the reader tells him that she has feeling for him. Which then leads to him breaking her heart in the most painful way that a person who suffers depression can ever feel. After the incident the reader moves to America, two years later, she comes back to Japan and bumps into Todomatsu. Only this time he acts completely different towards her. Why? Because he completely forgot the person who he hurt, so meeting the Reader is like meeting a stranger. 

I wanted to write an angsty kind of story with just a bit of humor to it. I wanted to make you guys feel what I felt when I had that nightmare years ago. 

And receiving comments saying you guys were crying or calling Totty a bitch, well that just showed me that I was doing a good job and gave me confidence.

Writing a person that self harms was a bit of a challenge for me to do.  I've never done it before, but a few of my friends in the past during that time told me that they used to do it, but had stopped. I never got that much information from them, but I remember having this "friend" in middle school who taught me how to cut if I ever wanted to harm myself. She showed me while we were alone in the girls locker room in the toilet stall. I remember crying at what she did to herself and she just shrugged it off and said that she was "Fine and it felt numb". I no longer have any connections with her today. 

I started noticing my own depression in freshmen year in high school. At that time I was still so called "friends" with the girl, we were just at different schools because I moved at the end of my middle school graduation. I remember having a really bad week with school, thinking of death, and feeling alone at school. I don't recall what had happened but something came up and I just really needed my "friend". So during lunch break, I tried calling her, I felt so much better when she picked up, but broke down when she said "Don't call me during classes, what is wrong with you? I could get in trouble," before hanging up.