Twilight of Shepherd and Calamity

Ch.3 Desire of life

After 3 to 4 days, Velvet and Sorey have almost recovered to a normal standard condition. At such rate, hard to not be doubted, and the old lady is well aware of how suspicious Velvet is, so as the doctor.

"If you are aware of how suspicious she is, why would you want to give her the mechanic prosthesis? I mean, she is already recovering in such monstrous speed, her strength may be immeasurable if you give it to her." The old lady stated her concern to the doctor.

"It will be fine. You see her eyes, right? Dull and confusing, she probably doesn't want to live." The doctor stated his sympathy.

"Yes, I noticed. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt other when she doesn't want to live. Even this won't post a hazard to you, then your prosthesis will be wasted." The old lady argued.

"It is a gamble to see if she is willing to live a little longer, for the debt. On the other hand, I have the feeling that the boy bring her here will give her hopes."

"What lead to this conclusion?"

"He said he was a Shepherd. True or not, he has the confidence to be a Shepherd, then he can give the girl a hope."

"It is still a short time to make conclusion, let observe longer. It is still possible for her to refuse your offer though."

"True, at least I get your agreement."

"You know.... Your offer is too big that you even considered for her mental treatment."

"As a doctor, I don't accept my patient to die in front of me or have no will to live after my treatment. Besides, it is the boy's job in this."

"Right..... You also want to say we have pretty much resources and time for this."

"Exactly."

"Fine, I will watch over the two for you."

"Thank you, for everything."

"You are welcome."

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Velvet POV

The doctor said both Sorey and I were recovering at a good rate, he asked if I will install the mechanic prosthesis. I am surprised that the world has been advanced to develop such things and I stop a while to think about it.

His words reminded me that I lost my arm that once hanging on the edge of Innominat's pit and get sliced by Artorius, the arm then devour numerous of souls to achieve my selfish goal after I gain a daemon arm. I can't save my little brother but I avenged him for myself. I saved nothing but kept destroying in the end.

Now, I realized that I am still alive, in a strange age, no one in this age I know. Everything has become so unfamiliar to me.

What should I do? There isn't really a goal for me to live now.

Laphi, the meaning of my life had gone a long time ago. I lived to take care of and protect him, for that, I am willing to do anything. However, he is not here and Innominat is likely disappeared, my family is all dead, my being is meaningless now.

......Ah, seem that I have no feeling to all the people not alive now, so I am the same. To be cold even to family, ever a monster, monster won't care things apart from kill.

I should not deserve to live, for the peace of those murdered souls. Even there may not be someone to recognize me and remember my sin, I can't live. I am different from these people, I am a monster.

Still, I feel sorry to have no payback to both of the people who saved me. It is rude to not treat my life a thing when I am saved. I will at least not make them sad to see me die before I go die. I wish to be more human before I become a monster again.