I Wish | L.H. AU

Hospital

SAM'S P.O.V.

Looking around, the bright white lights surrounded me. It was like I was in the perfect little room. There was a nice made bed in the middle, and white fairy lights around the walls, "Where I am?" I whispered to myself as I took a seat on the bed, feeling how comfortable it was. I laid back, taking a deep breath, feeling pure happiness. A smile grew on my lips, before I felt pain in my wrists. I looked down, seeing blood pouring from my veins, then my legs were draining of the blood supply.

I began to gasp for air, reaching and holding my chest. I opened my mouth, trying to speak but nothing coming out. I coughed, seeing blood on my white clothes. Everything started to turn black, the white lights turning darker and darker. "Luke," I squeaked out, another cough pouring blood onto my shirt.

I shut my eyes feeling the pain getting too strong, then everything stopped. Everything was black, I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed. "Samantha?" I heard a voice speak. I tried to open my eyes, lifting my heavy eyelids slowly. A man stood over me, "Samantha glad to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours." I tried to smile but couldn't, "You're on heavy meds dear."

My mouth was so dry, "Water." I croaked and he nodded, placing the cup with the straw in front of me. I wrapped my dry lips around the straw and sipped, feeling the cooling water go down my throat. "Where are the boys?" I said slowly.

"They went to get coffee. But Sam, you're going to be in here for at least a day or two, we want your cuts on your wrists to heal a little more, so we can then help them go away okay?" I nodded, "We're also going to have a sit down with a therapist for you."

I shook my head, "I don't need one. I'm over 18, you can't keep me here." I said, never being happier that I had turned 18 a little while ago, "I can go home when I want, it's up to me if I want to go." I argued, "And I don't want to."

"Well, while you're here, we're going to have someone okay?" He said, "And that's hospital rules." He took the water away from me, "The effects of the meds will be gone in ten minutes or so, stay well Ms.Smith." He walked out of the room, as I glared at him.

My eyes drifted down to my wrists, seeing the large cuts. They were deep, that's why I'm in this fucking place. The stitches in my arms were small, but I knew they would leave scars. Thank God for medicine. I grabbed my phone slowly, my arm feeling very heavy. As I looked all I could see were missed calls from friends, and my parents who were back in Australia, and Ansel. I sighed, deleting the voicemails, and just looking at all the text messages. There were so many notifications on Twitter and such. I rolled my eyes, dropping my phone on my lap.

I closed my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. What have I gotten myself into?!

The door to my room opened, I heard the guys voices as they walked inside. Ashton spoke first, "God she looks so pale." He said, his chair squeaking as he took a seat. "I never thought we'd see her like this again,"

Calum agreed, "I know..I thought she had gotten better, but I guess she just couldn't handle it."

"I mean, she was dealing with a lot, and it's been a very long time since she's done anything. I think you guys need to give her credit." Michael said, "It's not like she looks ugly, just sad and pale."

"They took her bracelet off," Luke said quietly, his voice was weak and raspy, like he had been yelling and crying, "I need to put it back on her." His black converse made little pat sounds as he walked over, he lifted my wrist and slipped it on. It stung, and made me hiss. "Oh God." Luke said, "I'm sorry," He went to pull it off and I shook my head. I opened my eyes and saw his beautiful blue gray ones right above me. "I'm so glad you're alive Sam."

Tears rolled down my cheeks, "I'm not." I said quietly, sniffling, "Why did you come to my house after what happened Luke? You said you couldn't take me back," I sobbed quietly.

He looked at the lads and they got up and left quietly, shutting the door, "I said yet Sam..yet." He whispered, pulling a chair over and sitting by my side, "Tell me why you'd hurt yourself like this again?" I shook my head, "Please Sam, don't you think I deserve to know?"

I glared at him, "You deserve to know?" I scoffed, "Nobody needs to know! I did this, to myself, for my reasons." I reached up and hissed in pain as I wiped my eyes, "I fucking did this because I wanted to, you know Luke? I clearly wanted to go back to this and try to kill myself." I shook my head, "You don't love me Luke, so it doesn't matter."

"I don't love you?!" He yelled, making me flinch, "Sam I never stopped loving you! Ever!" He shook his head, "You need to stop pitying yourself right now Sam, because I won't have it. YOU left me, YOU started to date someone else, YOU stopped loving me! You don't see me trying to kill myself." Luke spat, standing up from his chair, running his hands through his hair.

I wiped my eyes, "I never stopped loving you Luke..I just knew it was time for me to move on, so you could move on. I dated Ansel, to get over you and it clearly didn't work." My voice was quiet and frail, "I..I know you're the love of my life, but I did what was best for you." My eyes met his, "I love you Luke...I had to leave to help us both."

He sat down again, grabbing my hand softly, "You listen to me and listen closely." He smiled sadly, "I want to be with you for the rest of my life Sam, and if we're going to do this..it needs to start over and you need to realize that it's going to be a long distance thing most of the times. I won't hurt you or myself like before ever again. Do you want to start over?"

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I am so sorry I haven't updated in so long! School has been such a hassle and I haven't had the time, so many AP classes and after school stuff to handle. I love you all so much and thank you for all the reads and votes, please keep it up! Leave a vote and comment, thank you all so much xxxxx