jaeyong ✧ skindeep

Two

Taeyong's head hung down while he sat on the seats in the subway. Though he tried to forget it, his mind continually went back to what Jaehyun told him, honestly deciding whether it was creepy due to the fact that they just met or if it was just a complement. What he didn't understand is why Jaehyun would say something like that in first place. He seemed to not know about what Taeyong was doing, so why say something like that? It also didn't seem like something a guy might say to another. Especially such a heartthrob like Jaehyun.

A very short time pass before the train reached Taeyong's destination. He scurried out of the station, rushing to his house. Once the front door swung open, the scent of tobacco filled his senses. Taeyong softly shut the door, not wanting his father to figure out he was home.

He tightly gripped the doorknob as if it would lesson the sound of the turning knock. The lock clicked. Taeyong's heart felt like a ticking time bomb when he attempted to silently sneak to his room. Relief washed over him when he realized his father wasn't present at home, yet that hope was almost immediately crushed when he heard the sound of the door open and close.

He slowly turned his head, his eyes meeting his father's piercing gaze. Taeyong's father sharply exhaled, walking towards Taeyong and roughly hitting him on his nape,"Why the fuck are you home so late?"

Taeyong's body tensed up, the spreading pain on his neck sparking discomfort. His voice became timid,"I missed the first train. I'm s-sorry."

His father reached over the counter and grasped a half empty soju bottle. Bringing the green bottle to his lips, he took a swig of the alcohol, sharply exhaling after pulling the bottle away from his mouth. Taeyong watched as his father did this.

His father drank from the bottle once again, then sneering at Taeyong who was meekly watching him,"Get out of my face. You're disgusting to look at."

Taeyong scrambled upstairs, knowing for a fact if he stayed a second longer he would get beaten. The boy tossed his backpack aside and shut his door before crawling on his bed and hiding himself under the covers like a child. Being embraced was something that had always calmed him down but, no one loved him enough to do it that an intimate object like a blanket was the last resort.

He pressed down on his nape, flinching at the growing pain the simple hit caused. With nothing else to do, Taeyong pulled his homework out his backpack whilst listening to the sounds of the now pouring rain.

Two hours passed before Taeyong had finished his assignments for the day. He shoved his books away in his backpack, his heart skipping a beat when his father's rapid footsteps approached the door.

And it happened again. Taeyong was beaten senselessly by his intoxicated father. If the man got drunk enough, he would use any excuse to beat Taeyong; to use him as a personal punching bag. Even if it was just for closing the door to study. Of course he didn't resist as that never failed to form the situation into something much worse and piss his drunken father off.

He was left lying on the carpet of his room while his father lit a cigarette, blew a puff of smoke in the room and left. Taeyong slowly picked himself up, his already bruised muscles and bones ached. Nothing unusual. He dragged himself to the bathroom and ran the bath water warm before stripping himself and submerging himself in the liquid. He kept the light off, his only source of light being a plugged in nightlight. His hands caressed the edges of the boiling water, steam omitting from the water like a sauna. He placed his hands on his own torso, squeezing whatever skin his hand could grab before doing the same to his thighs.

"I am disgusting."

~~~~

Taeyong discarded breakfast the following morning and went straight to school rather then sticking around for his father's insults. He made sure his clothing covered every part of his body where a bruise would be labeled suspicious.

He entered the classroom, walking past Doyoung and Jaehyun who seemed to be heavily immersed in their conversation. Jaehyun peeked out of the corner of his eye, watching as Taeyong sat down at his desk and rested his head on top of his folded arms.

"Hey, Taeyong."

Taeyong lifted his head up, possibly still half asleep. It was unusual to be greeted by anyone. He rubbed his eyes looking like a child before looking at the owner of the voice,"Morning, Jaehyun."

Doyoung sat on his chair the opposite way, his arms resting on the backrest,"You'll eat with us today, right?"

Taeyong dug his fingernails into his jeans,"Maybe but, why?"

Doyoung fixed he arm so that his chin would be supported up by his palm,"What do you mean 'why'? We're trying and want to be friends with you. That's 'why'."

Taeyong swallowed the lump in his throat. When was the last time anyone had a desire to be his friend? There might have been people in the past but Taeyong shut everyone out for the sole purpose of not having to introduce them to his life.

"Oh... I guess I can today then." Taeyong looked at Doyoung for a second before averting his eyes to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun flashed a smile at Taeyong only seconds before other students disrupted the temporary peace of the quiet classroom and the bell rung. Taeyong awkwardly returned the smile shortly after, facing his body forward as the teacher walked in.

~~~~

The classes leading up to lunch passed much faster then Taeyong would have enjoyed. How long had it been since he ate with or, in front of people?

Taeyong's hands immediately clutched his backpack once the bell rung, hoping that somehow, he could leave with Doyoung seeing or that they forgot. Doyoung turned his head to Taeyong,"You're already hungry? We can go now then."

Taeyong slightly nodded while Jaehyun and Doyoung stood themselves up and exited through the sliding door. Taeyong's palms grew sweaty. Through the crowds of students, the three finally managed to find a place to sit. Taeyong sat down while Jaehyun and Doyoung disappeared into the lunch lines. Taeyong held his backpack between his legs as he pulled a water bottle out of the bag. While twisting the plastic cap he muttered,"How long has it been since I've been here?"

Shortly, Jaehyun and Doyoung returned to the table, setting their steel trays down and sitting across from Taeyong. It was situations like these that could only end up two ways: it'll be awkward and they'll never talk to each other again or Taeyong would actually have friends.

Taeyong took another gulp out of his water bottle, watching as Doyoung and Jaehyun began to pick at their food.

"You're not eating?" Jaehyun asked before popping a fermented radish in his mouth.

Taeyong's hands scattered under the table, a mild meekness coated his voice,"I guess I will." Taeyong scavenged his backpack, pulling out anything that would be considered "food". Which turned out to be nothing but snacks; not exactly what would be considered a meal. Jaehyun took another bite of rice before sliding the tray over to Taeyong,"I had a large breakfast so I'm not that hungry. You can have it since it seems you don't have much with you."

Taeyong pulled the tray towards him by its edge. At first, he hesitantly ate only to consume more then needed. During this period, Jaehyun left lunch about five minutes earlier due to basketball practice.

Taeyong excused himself from Doyoung's presence and sped walked to the bathroom. The door to the male restroom swung open as Taeyong walked in. He bent over slightly, checking that no one was in any other stalls. He locked himself in the center stall, immediately kneeling in front of the toilet and thrusting his fingers to the back of his throat. He gagged a couple of times before actually getting it out.

He washed his saliva covered fingers, foaming them with the soap and drying his veiny hands with the paper towels.

~~~~