jaeyong ✧ skindeep

Forty-four

Jaehyun served two separate glass plates before walking over to the table and setting them down. He walked over to his room, his eyes landing on Taeyong who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Gripping onto the door frame, Jaehyun simply stated,"Dinner is ready."

Taeyong stood up, humming in repsonse while he wore a sheepish smile then walked past Jaehyun.

The brunette espied Taeyong's figure as he walked, then silently moved to bathroom, grasped the silver knob and locked it from the inside.

Taeyong brushed his fingers against the surface of the wooden table, sharply swallowing as he pulled out his chair. Jaehyun walked back into the kitchen, proceeding to sit down at the table across from Taeyong.

Taeyong hesitantly picked up his fork. As his fingers tightened around the utensil, his mind only focused on how many calories was in the food. He lowered the silverware to the plate, pushing food onto the fork and staring at it as it rested.

Although Jaehyun tried his hardest not to watch, his eyes couldn't help but look back at Taeyong and heavily worry.

Taeyong put the fork in his mouth, his mind instantly clouded with negative thoughts as he began to chew and swallow.

"What have you done?"

He took another bite.

"It's calories. It'll make you gain weight."

And another.

"You'll ruin yourself. Do you really think anybody is going to love a body like that?"

Followed by another.

"Jaehyun won't love you anymore if you look like that."

Continuing with another.

"This is why your father enjoyed hurting you."

Then another.

"You're disgusting."

Taeyong shifted in his seat uncomfortably, his hands gripping the flesh of his thighs and abdomen as his heart pulsated.

Jaehyun looked up from his plate,"Taeyong?"

Taeyong stood up from his seat, speedily walking to the bathroom. Jaehyun pushed himself off his seat,"Taeyong, no."

Taeyong gripped the doorknob, shaking it in an attempt to unlock. Jaehyun came up from behind Taeyong, hugging him behind his back,"Taeyong, it's okay. Nothing will happen."

Nevertheless, Taeyong continued shaking the doorknob in desperation. He slid down against the door, sinking to the floor as his eyes began to water,"Jaehyun, please."

Jaehyun crouched down in front of Taeyong, his hands cupping the latter's cheek and his voice laced with that ever present delicate tone,"Hey, it's fine, okay? You'll be fine."

Taeyong ran his hands over his face,"No, it won't. I feel sick and disgusting."

Jaehyun pulled Taeyong into his arms,"That's how you feel, but it's not true. You're beautiful, okay?"

~~~~

Taeyong laid silently on the bed, hidden in an almost complete darkness. He remained wide awake, comforted by Jaehyun's soft breathes and the moonlight that peered through the window, dimly lighting the room.

He sat up, leaning against the wall. Moving towards Jaehyun's body, Taeyong softly moved his hand from side to side over Jaehyun's face, assuring himself the boy was fast asleep.

Stealthy and quietly, Taeyong overturned the sheets on his side of the bed, moving off the bed and carefully placing his feet against the ground. He walked to the door, making sure the floorboards wouldn't creak under his steps.

Taeyong sneaked out of the room then silently slid into the bathroom. Cautiously, he closed the bathroom door and turned on the light.

Taeyong crouched over the toilet, unquestioningly shoving his finger into the back of his throat and beginning to gag himself.

Minutes passed afterwards, Jaehyun slowly awoke. His adjusted himself tiredly before realizing Taeyong was no longer next to him and the bathroom light was on. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and sat silently. He didn't move immediately, only until he heard a gag was he assured of what Taeyong was doing.

Jaehyun swung the sheets off of his body and walked over to the bathroom,  opening the door,"Taeyong..."

Taeyong shut the toliet lid, turned his body towards Jaehyun's and tightly closed his fist, his gaze remained on the ground as he couldn't bring himself to look at the boy.

Jaehyun tiredly sat on the floor, his fingers combing through his hair in frustration and worry,"I think you should do the inpatient."

Taeyong's gaze shot up,"Jaehyun, but-"

"I can't watch you hurt yourself like this, Taeyong. I didn't want you to do the inpatient only because I can't bare the thought of not being able to see you, but that's selfish of me. I obviously can't help you and it's killing me."

Taeyong's fingers gripped onto the bathroom rug in a unknown resistance to cry.

Jaehyun's voice became brittle,"No matter how many times I tell you that I love you or that you're beautiful, you don't understand that it's true. And I want you to be able to understand that."

Taeyong hung his head down, unable to retort anything to Jaehyun at this point. Jaehyun stood up, leaning over Taeyong and flushing the toilet. He pulled Taeyong up,"Come here, wash your hands."

Taeyong silently washed and dried his hands, then rinsed his mouth out.

Jaehyun tightly wrapped his arms around Taeyong from behind, his chin resting on the latter's shoulder as he kissed his neck.

Taeyong hesitantly gripped onto Jaehyun's arms, his fingertips pressing against the flesh. With his words laced with disinclination, he began,"I'll do it then."

Jaehyun perked his head up, unsure of what Taeyong mumbled or what he thought he did,"Huh?"

He stammered,"I-I'll do the inpatient. You want me to get better, right?"

"Of course I do. It's the only thing I want right now."

The raven-haired hummed in response only seconds before Jaehyun's arms moved under him and picked him up.

Though taken by surprise, Taeyong quickly found the usual comfort in Jaehyun's touch and secured his arms around the younger's neck.

The brunette walked back to the room, falling back onto the bed with Taeyong still remaining in his grasp. He laid beside the raven-haired, his fingers interlocked with his counterpart's and not wanting to let go.

~~~~