jaeyong ✧ skindeep

Forty-three

"Just to be sure: nine years, correct?"

Taeyong fidgeted with his fingers over his lap, his eyes remaining fixated on the ground,"Uhm, yes."

The psychologist questioned,"Now, about your father, how long did that last?"

"Eleven years? I can't recall the exact time he began."

"Was your father always an alcoholic or did it slowly become that?"

"I remember him always being one."

"He was a heavy smoker too, correct?"

Taeyong nodded,"I don't think I've ever seen him without a cigarette in his hand."

"Though I'm not a pulmonologist, have you ever had breathing problems during sex, while running or whatever?"

"No, why?"

"Just to assure your lungs are not in a too bad shape from secondhand smoking," she wrote on her clipboard in silence for few seconds before looking back up at Taeyong.

"I understand this may be an uncomfortable topic for you, but can you describe the abuse you received from your father?"

Taeyong's eyes only slightly widened before he resumed a stoic expression. He cleared his throat, his voice almost instantly beginning to break as it was the first time he'd ever spoken about it,"Um. A l-lot of the he'd just insult me and hit or kick me. He told me a lot of the time 'you're worthless' or you're better off dead'. Or sometimes he'd take one of his empty glass bottles and hit me with it on the back of my head. There were a few times where I ended up in the emergency rooms or where it just hurt to move."

Taeyong began to break, his eyes heavily streaming down with tears as he wiped his face with his sleeves,"I'm sorry."

The doctor reached back, passing Taeyong a box of tissues,"You can stop talking about it now. I think I understand."

Taeyong grasped the box, grabbing few tissues and wiping his face dry.

The psychologist stood up from her chair,"Can you excuse me for a minute? I'll be right back."

Taeyong silently nodded as the latter walked out.

She closed the door, walking over to Jaehyun who was leaned up against the wall.

"I can't say much for now, but it's obvious he has an extensive emotional burden. The mental, emotion and physical abuse from his father most likely faltered the possibility of a secure positive mindset and it's possible that he has some sort of PTSD; or trauma in general from that."

"And the eating?"

"Nine years of bulimia nervosa, laxative abuse and diurect abuse. It's safe to say his esophagus and bowel are in terrible condition. His habits most likely originated from trauma. In few cases, disorders can be hereditary, but that is highly unlikely as they more so come from one's own mindset."

Jaehyun ran his hands over his face,"What can we, or you do about it then?"

"If it were a newer case of bulimia it would be easier for treatment, though at this point his habits have become a sort of "lifeline" for him. Due to that, I'd recommend an inpatient."

Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair in frustration,"An outpatient isn't possible?"

"It is, but the patient has to showcase a strong desire to get better themselves. When it comes to these types of eating disorders, the patient may feel as if 'they have no control' or 'control doesn't exist.' It's ironic, because some patients feel they have full control of their physical body and weight when they participate in such. Like I said, at this point in time, his habits have become a part of him."

"How long would an inpatient take?"

"One inpatient may only be a few months but for a full recovery, it all leans on the patient. Some people can get out of their habits by a few months while some may take years. Depending on how much he depines for recovery, he may need several."

"Until he gets official treatment, is there anything I can do?"

Her demeanor softened, most likely at the way Jaehyun obviously cared for Taeyong,"I'd recommend locking the bathroom doors after you eat, make sure he's not buying or hiding laxatives and limiting his physical activity. Also, just spend time with him and let him know that he's not what he sees himself as."

~~~~

Both boys sat in an amaranthine silence once seated in the car. Jaehyun looked over to Taeyong, leaning over and faintly touching his lips against the latter's cheek,"I'm proud of you, okay?"

Taeyong nodded, looking back down at his feet,"What's going to happen now?"

Jaehyun pushed the keys into the keyhole, sitting back once the car turned on,"The doctor recommend an inpatient for you."

Taeyong dug his fingernails into his jeans,"Jaehyun-"

"I haven't said yes or no, yet," Jaehyun bit his bottom lip as he pulled out of the parking lot and began driving away, resuming the silence.

~~~~

A knock from the front door sounded through the apartment. Jaehyun exited the kitchen, heading to the front door and swinging it ajar.

"I have notes for you from today's lecture,"Doyoung quickly stated from the opposite end of the door frame.

Jaehyun grabbed the pages from Doyoung,"Thanks."

Doyoung lowered his hands,"How did it go?"

"A lot of tears were spilled, I could say. He'll most likely do an impatient."

Doyoung's expression saddened,"Where's he right now?"

"He fell asleep on the bed not too long ago."

Doyoung leaned against the door frame,"He'll do fine, Jaehyun. Don't worry. Things will get better eventually."

Jaehyun nodded once, his voice dragged quietly,"Yeah."

"I need to go to the library to get books for my research report, I'll text you later."

"Mhm, thanks for the notes. Bye."

Jaehyun closed the door once Doyoung began to walk away. Placing the papers down on the counter, Jaehyun walked back over to room. He laid down next to Taeyong, silently watching him peacefully sleep.

The brunette grasped Taeyong's palm which rested near his head. He cupped it between both of his hands, bringing it towards his lips and softly kissing the skin.

~~~~