After five days, my dad is aloud to move in. Being fifty one, he still has five years till retirement, but he calls his work and retires early. We go shopping, and besides for paying for his whole ass whole... I furnish it! Yeah I said I didn't want to pay for everything, but I want to make sure my dad has an okay living situation. So the the next two days I spend buying him groceries, setting up his house, and spending time with the old bastard :). Before I go I really want to go up to the houseboat this him... but deciding I've already been here for a week, I leave him with ten grand.
I take a private jet back to LA, and when I get there, I go straight home, and call Andy.
Ring ring
Ring ring
Ring ring
Ring ring
Ring-
"Hi, you've reached Andy Biersack. I'm so sorry that I could not answer your phone call. Please don't leave a message because I don't have the time to check it. Bye"
I sigh a bit, sitting at my kitchen island. Then all the sudden I loose it and I break down crying, head in hands. What's the point of even coming home if I have nothing to come home to? I think back to when CC pulled me off the bridge, I wonder what what've happened if I had jumped...
Ring ring
Ring ring
I stare at my phone, seeing that it's Andy, and anxiety fills my chest
Ring ring
He won't care, would he?
Ring-
"H-Hello?"
"Hey" he says cheerfully, "Why'd you call?"
He's in a good mood, I can't bring him down, "Oh, I didn't mean to sorry" I lie
"Are you sure? You sound-"
"I'm a little bit sick, it's no biggy" I force a laugh
"Oh okay, I actually just got off set. You want me to come bring you some soup?" I stay silent, trying not to panic "Hello?"
"No no, uh it's fine, thank you Andy. Bye"
I hangup immediately, and strait crying again. Why am I like this? Fuck I don't want to do this anymore, but this is everything everyone would ever want. I wish my mom was here right now holding me, the way she did when I was young.
I come to my feet and search for my keys, leaving my phone. I lock up the house and head to my car, getting in immediately. I don't even know where I want to go, but the destination kind of finds me, and I end up at that same bridge. I look down at it, my eyes shaking, glistening, with desperation, and longing, but what for?
I hold on to the rail, squaring, holding the bars like a jail cell. "I need you" I whisper, but to who? "please come back" who? Cole? Max? My mom? Anyone in the world who left? All the friends who have betrayed me? My mom who has let her selfish ways betray her. My sister lives miles away and I don't get to see her, I helped my dad but god knows what he's going through.
I come to my feet feeling a numbness inside of me. For if I jump I will kill not only mine, but the left over, tiny bit of happiness in my fathers heart. And as all of those who have betrayed me, I will betray myself by doing exactly what I despise. But once my soul has left my body, what guilt will I have if what I have is nothing?
"FUCK YOU!" I scream, kicking the rail before me, then stumbling back into the one behind me. I watch as like a stone the wood slips over the fast running water. Behind me I watch as the rocks tear it apart.
Now with no railing, it'd be so easy to jump. I walk forward to the gap, holding on to the remaining rails besides me. I feel hands push me forward and I scream, them when I realize they're not pulling me forward, they're pulling me back, I don't know why but it's an even bigger fear. "NO NO NO!" I push them off and leap over the edge, put foot skidding across the water, but before my body could be plunged into the sharp rocks, my arm is grabbed. "HELP!"
