Hereditary Sadness

Chapter 14-Melanie

(January)

"Okay, I'll see you next week, Mom," I say into my cellphone just as Jamie and Dr. Green reappear after their first session together.  Dr. Green is smiling, but Jamie looks downright exhausted.

"Jamie," Dr. Green says to her.  "I'd like a quick word with your mother, if that's okay." 

"Sure," Jamie says and sits down next to me on the couch where I've been waiting for the last 45 minutes.  I pat my daughter's leg and stand up.  I follow Dr. Green, and she closes the door behind us. 

"Melanie, I share some of your concerns about Jamie."  Dr. Green takes a deep breath.  "And after speaking with her today, I'd like to see Jamie once a week." 

"I figured you were going to say something like that," I confess to her.  "I think I kept telling myself for so long that she was just going through typical teenager stuff that I actually started to believe it." 

"Well, I don't think I need to see her forever, but I think it would be really helpful for right now," she tells me.  "Jamie has been going through some really heavy stuff at school these past couple months."  She pauses. "And Tony tells me that the two of you are in a rather new relationship."

"Do you think my relationship with Tony has something to do with why Jamie's been so stressed lately?" A load of motherly guilt suddenly weighs down on my shoulders.

"No, that's not what I'm saying," Dr. Green reassures me.  "But having a single parent start a new relationship can have its own complications.  How does Jamie feel about your relationship with Tony?  Is she supportive?"

"Absolutely," I say with more confidence than I feel.  "I mean, she's never said anything to the contrary," I add. 

"Okay, I was just checking." Dr. Green smiles and seems to dismiss the subject.  "I don't want to tell you what to do, but I think it would be wise to have that conversation with Jamie that you and I discussed through our emails." 

"I really will try," I tell her.  She puts her hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring look.

"So, I'll see you and Jamie next week?" I nod and thank her.  Then I pause.

"There is some new stuff going on with my mother." I decide I should probably tell her.  "She's just reentered my life after a fifteen year absence."

"Interesting," Dr. Green says.  "Would you like me to bring that up in my next session with Jamie?" 

"No, I mean, not unless you think it's necessary," I tell her.  She smiles and opens the door for me.  We walk back out to where my daughter is waiting.  Jamie and I say goodbye and head back down to the car. 

I've been trying to give Jamie space since she's been on suspension, so our conversations have been sparse.  I'm not sure how to get her to open up to me.  We've always been so close, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do to help her. 

"So, how do you feel it went with Dr. Green?" I ask carefully once we're in the car and on our way back home. 

"Fine, I guess," she says.

"Do you feel a little better after talking to her?" I try again.

"I guess," she says again.  This is going well, I think to myself.  I try one more time.

"Is there anything you and Dr. Green discussed that you feel comfortable sharing with me?"

"She thinks I'm depressed," she finally says.  "And she asked me if there's a history of depression in the family."  Oh, wonderful.  "There's not, right?  I mean, that's what I told her."