Hereditary Sadness

Chapter Five-Jamie

(October/November) 

I fell asleep reading again last night. I can't figure out why I've been so tired lately. Mom says it's probably just puberty, and I need more sleep because my body is getting ready for a lot of big changes—like I'm a bear in hibernation or something getting ready to wake up and face the world. I have been kind of grumpy lately. I'm hoping that's just hormones, too, because I've been pretty snippy with Mom, and I feel bad. I'm not trying to take everything out on her, but I do spend the most time with her. Mental note: Try to be nicer to Mom today.

"Jamie, let's go!" Mom yells from downstairs. "I don't want to be late!" I grab my backpack, hoping I'll have a few minutes to read in the car on the way to school. Mom and I run out the door and jump in the Jeep. We're already on our way to school when I realize I left my novel for English on my bed.

"We don't have time to turn around, Jamie. You'll just have to borrow one from someone else," Mom says as she tries to drive and pull her hair up in a ponytail at the same time. Mom has this pretty dark blond hair that's stick straight. She almost always wears it up though. Especially for school. The stoplight ahead of us turns red, and Mom slams on the brakes.

"God, Mom! Are you trying to kill us?" I say as I grab the dashboard in front of me.

"You know, Jamie, I wish you would treat me with a little more respect considering I handle everything in our house. I handle the bills, the cleaning, the laundry, the car," Mom pauses, and I know she's making a longer list in her head. "All I ask is that you get yourself ready and out the door in time for school. And you can't even seem to do that!"

"You're driving like a maniac, Mom! I'm sorry if I'm worried about our safety!" Now I'm screaming at her and I am so not sorry! I can't wait to get out of this stupid car and away from my mother. She turns into the school parking lot, and the wheels squeal a little. There's a teacher directing traffic, and she gives Mom a long, cold stare.

Mom stares back, but she slows down. Once we're parked, Mom turns off the car and starts to get out of the Jeep. "Are you coming to my soccer game today after school?" I ask her, even though I know she probably can't make it. Again.

"Yeah, I'll be—wait. Is today Tuesday?" She looks at her phone. "I can't make today's game, kiddo. I'm sorry. I have a meeting with Mr. Osuna."

I sigh and mumble, "Whatever." I start walking toward the school, and Mom calls for me to wait.

"Oh, and I washed your uniform that I also paid for!" she adds. "You're welcome!"

I ignore her and, instead, I walk faster. I stomp through the doors as I send Jasmine the world's fastest, angriest text. I head to English class, but I'm dreading the look on Miss Pickett's face when I tell her I don't have my novel. Then I remember I was going to try and be nicer to Mom, and I feel like a complete failure. "Well," I say to myself, "there's always tomorrow."

I walk into class just as the bell rings, and the first person I see is Kimmy. She's walking around the room handing back graded papers. I bet Kimmy is trying to be Miss Pickett's favorite student; that's why she's always volunteering to do stuff like hand back papers. I try to take my time getting to my seat, so I don't have to pass her on my way. Unfortunately, Miss Pickett says, "Jamie, please be seated." I'm not the only student standing, and I roll my eyes. Miss Pickett is definitely out to get me.

Kimmy places my paper on my desk just as I get there. "Ooooh, too bad, Halfro," she says just loud enough for me to hear. I look and see another failing grade written across my paper. I quickly sit in my seat and cross my arms over my desk. I let my head drop and try to block out this crappy day. I'm still so tired even though I fell asleep before nine o'clock last night. Then I remember which essay this is, and I pick my head up to see why I did so poorly. There's no explanation next to my grade. I grab my paper and head up to Miss Pickett's desk.