𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 || 𝐒𝐚𝐦 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Chapter 10 ~ That's An...Interesting Apology

Note: A VERY long wait for an update, I know but I promise to be more punctual from here on out, guys lol I hope you like this chapter! ;)

I should've told Sam.

I should've looked him in the eyes and admitted what I'd done. But did I do that? Nope. Instead, I didn't let one single word pass my lips and before I knew it, he'd spun on his heel and stalked away. Maybe I should have followed him, explained myself. I shouldn't have taken it - I know that. But...for some reason, I couldn't stop my own curiosity. Who was Jess? Who was she to him? A girlfriend? A wife?

And the most important question - why did it matter? Why was I so bent on finding out? There was no logic in it.

"Carter, move your pixelated character so I may prepare my meal," a gravelly voice interrupted in the usual steady monotone I'd become accustomed to these past few weeks.

Shaking my head as if that simple gesture could will the thoughts away, I did as I was bid and let the other character move in front of mine. I glanced over at Cas then as his serious blue eyes were glued to the tiny TV screen set in front of us and bit back a laugh. Who knew angels could be so intense while playing Sims?! You'd think he was playing Call of Duty or something. Although...that didn't go so well when I'd tried to play that game with him.

A moment of silence reigned between us for only a short period before Cas broke it, "Why won't you talk to Sam?"

"The better question would be why won't he talk to me?" I rolled my brown eyes as my fingers flitted across the controls, "He won't even allow me to explain myself, explain why I even had the stupid thing in the first place. You know it was to save his sorry behind, right? Or rather, to save his brother's?"

"How can a keychain save someone's-" he started but I waved him off.

"Not that, Cassy! I meant how I'd shoved the thing in my pocket when I went to save him!..." I went quiet then, a frown settling upon my face before I continued, "I guess it doesn't really matter anymore, though. Sam was the only one who even cared if I was here or not and now, that's gone, too..."

Cas put his controller down then, pausing the game before moving sideways on the small couch so as to face me. His bright blue eyes watched me intensely, a deep concern lingering in his stare. His words came as no surprise.

"Carter, that's not true. Not only does Sam still care but so do I. We need you here. And don't forget that Billie wanted you here as well. You're here for a reason, don't lose sight of that," he told me, his words sincere in the dim lighting of the spare room in the Bunker that I now called my own, "Just go talk to Sam. Explain what happened - I'm sure he'll understand."

Sighing deeply, I nodded, finally loosening my grasp on the controller only to toss it onto the tabletop alongside Cas' before exiting the room. Heeding his advice then, I began to make my way down the long stretch of hallway to Sam's room. I'll admit, I was slightly nervous. What should I say to him? What could possibly fix this? I'd stolen something precious to him - maybe not on purpose - but still...how could he ever learn to trust me again?

Too soon, my footsteps led me to the dark mahogany door of Sam's bedroom and I felt a swirl of dread begin to churn in the pit of my stomach. Taking a deep breath, I lifted up my hand before rapping my knuckles against the wood. The sound resounded in the large hallway, bouncing off the walls before fading into utter silence as I waited. There was a shuffling sound from inside before ten seconds later, the door swung wide open to reveal the familiar figure of Sam towering over my tiny frame. Now or never, I suppose, I thought to myself as I glanced up into his hazel-brown eyes.

"Carter, what-" he began, eyes hard as he looked down upon me but I didn't let him finish that sentence.

"Before you start, please just hear me out first!" I said suddenly, cutting him off as I pushed my way past him into his bedroom.

I barely had time to even take in my surroundings - the couple of pictures of him and Dean in frames on the nightstand, a rifle likely filled with salt lying haphazardly on his dresser, a half-read book still flipped open on the page he left off - before my gaze met his and I continued.

"I didn't steal the bracelet. I promise I didn't!" I said, emphasizing my words when I saw the look of evident disbelief etched on his features as I pressed on, "I admit...I shouldn't have been rifling through your things. But Sam, you have to understand...I don't know you. Or Dean. I was brought here against my will to watch over two people that I know nothing about, to live in a place I've never been to..."

Finally, that hardness in his hazel orbs softened and I sighed inwardly, knowing that he was finally listening to my words. Tentatively, I sat down on the edge of his bed as he closed the door.

"I know it was wrong, okay? I'm sorry that I took it. But I didn't do it to hurt you. I just...I wanted to know more about you and Dean. I wanted to know more about just who I was protecting..."

Slowly, he sat down beside me on the bed before finally, he spoke, "But why take it? Why not put it back with the other things you found?"

"There wasn't time to. As soon as I'd found it, I felt my mark burn - someone else was going to die. Then...I heard you scream and-" I cut myself off abruptly, looking down at my feet as I swallowed down emotions I didn't even understand yet.

But Sam did. Or at least...I felt like he did as he gently placed his hand over mine, his calloused fingers rubbing the skin there softly in a comforting way.

"Carter...I'm sorry," he said then and I could hear the sincerity ringing clear in his deep voice as my eyes met his, "I overreacted, it's just...that bracelet belonged to someone very dear to me... I lost her when I got into this business..."

"Who was she - Jess?" I asked, curiosity mixing with my own sympathy for the younger Winchester.

His eyes glazed over a bit then and I almost thought I'd overstepped my boundaries but no, instead a sad, bittersweet smile spread across his lips, "She was my girlfriend. I was in love with her but...she got killed because of this profession. It took me a-"

He took a deep breath then, shaking his head before continuing, "-a long time to stop blaming myself for her death..."

This time it was my turn to comfort him as I leaned closer, "She'll always be a part of you, Sam. You take her everywhere you go-"

I broke off then to rest a gentle hand over his heart as I flicked my gaze up to lock with his own, "-in here."

I don't know what it was but something changed in that moment - maybe the rhythmic beating of his heart beneath my fingertips, the soft warmth within his hazel-brown orbs, the heat of his body so close to mine...but slowly, ever so slowly, I felt the tension rise between us and just like that...his lips collided with my own.

It was a cosmic effect, like that one moment had altered the universe. At least ours anyway. But one thing was certain - Sam Winchester was a lot more skilled at this than I would have presumed possible. His large, strong hands came to rest on my lower back, pulling me flush against him so abruptly that I gasped, allowing him to deepen the kiss. My fingers tangled themselves in his long, shaggy brown locks as I felt myself melting into this moment, like nothing else mattered in the world. Nothing at all, nothing but Sam.

All I wanted was just to have this moment never end, to stay like this - wrapped up in his embrace where the world couldn't touch me, forever protected against all harm. Complete serenity and absolution in the caress of his lips.

I would've stayed there forever if the splintering of wood didn't jar us from the grasp of the other. I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights as my brown eyes met the familiar green of the eldest Winchester. But his gaze was not on me, instead it rested on his little brother who now was looking not only extremely uncomfortable but guilty as well.

"Sammy, you have something you wanna tell me?" Dean asked in a hard voice.