𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 || 𝐒𝐚𝐦 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Chapter 18 ~ Heart-to-Heart

When I finally came to, the face hovering above me - the first one I saw upon waking - was not Sam, as expected, but rather Dean's green-eyed gaze that met mine. I frowned, trying to sit up in the small guest bed where I had been staying these past several months, and winced as a twinge of pain shot through my head.

"Easy, easy," Dean said, gently pushing me back down onto my pillows.

His tone was soft, concerned and his gaze reflected the same sentiment as I stared down at me from his seat by my bedside. I sighed, putting a hand tentatively to the bandage that now encircled my crown of dark hair.

"What...what happened?" I asked him, my voice quiet in my confusion, "Where's Sam?"

"Out. He went to get more bandages for you," he explained, a small smirk flitting across his features, "Ironic that Reapers have healing powers like angels but they just can't heal themselves,"

I rolled my eyes at his slight attempt at humor, "Funny,"

He went serious then as silence lapsed between us for a beat, "Thank you,"

Frowning, I glanced up at him. Well, this was a first...

"For what?" I couldn't help but ask, dumbfounded by the declaration.

"Saving Sam...on more than one occasion. He told me you tried to stop Lucifer from using his soul,"

"Yeah...lot of good I did on that,"

"But you tried. And...and that goes a long way with me. I owe anyone a debt who saves my brother." Dean told me seriously, gaze unreadable as he looked back at me.

Slowly, I nodded, seeing his point entirely. I hadn't been with the Winchesters long but I already knew the all-encompassing love they felt for one another. It wasn't that common to see anymore - in any generation. But they were all each other had.

"Well...he means a lot to me, too," I leveled with him, not meeting Dean's eyes as I said it.

His expression was impossible to decipher, green eyes taking me in as he sat back in his chair. A mutable silence enveloped us and I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Maybe...maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Maybe I shouldn't have told him that at all. But the next words out of his mouth made me rethink that entirely.

"I know."

My eyes snapped to his instantly, completely in disbelief.

"Wait...what? I-I don't know what you're talking about-" I began, feeling flustered under his penetrating gaze.

"Cut it out, Carter - you know I'm on to you two," Dean dismissed me, waving a hand as I fell silent, "Now how long has this been going on?"

I bit my lip hard in thought before finally sighing, giving in, "Since we broke him out of the Cage,"

His eyebrows raised slightly, eyes going distant briefly before nodding in response, "Makes sense. You two have been acting pretty strange since about then,"

"How did you know?"

He smirked, shaking his head, "You think I can't tell when my little brother is in love? I practically raised that kid - it doesn't take a genius to figure it out,"

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, boring a hole into the sheets that were pulled up to my waist, hands folded on my lap.

"You're not, um...you're not mad about this?" I asked quietly, too afraid to meet his eyes.

A sigh whistled past Dean's lips and I tensed slightly at the sound before he replied, "I thought I would be but...I just can't bring myself to be mad at my brother finally being happy for once,"

Hesitantly, I glanced back up to find him already staring at me. As if he could read what kind of person I was just based on the look in my eyes.

"I can't honestly say I've seen him this happy since...since Jess..." he trailed off then and I frowned, thinking back to the brief conversation I'd had with Sam about his ex.

He didn't seem to want to talk about her then and I had respected that. But I couldn't help but wonder...

"How, um...how did she..."

"Die?" Dean supplied before sighing, "The demon who killed our mom killed her...in just the same way. Put her on the ceiling, burned her alive... Sam was the one who found her..."

His voice was thick with emotion as he said it and I could sense that it was a sore subject, even for Dean who hadn't dated the girl. I couldn't even imagine what it must have been like for Sam...

"I'm sorry, I...I didn't know..." I admitted quietly.

Dean shook his head then, as if in doing so, he could shake the bad memories loose, "My point is...I think this is good for him. He needs you in his life, Carter. And I, uh...I'm glad you two are together,"

I couldn't help but smirk at him, teasing, "Aw, are you going soft on me, Dean?"

He rolled his eyes in slight annoyance before getting up from his chair and began to head towards the doorway. 

But not before he stopped, turning to face me slightly, "I...I am glad you're here though, Carter,"

A genuine smile split my face at his confession, feeling my heart swell with love for the eldest Winchester, something I never thought I could feel towards the hunter.

"Me too, Dean. Me too."