𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 || 𝐒𝐚𝐦 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Chapter 32 ~ Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Note: So in this chapter, things are tiiiny bit changed from how they happened in the episode because of time constraints as well as incorporating my OC into the episode. But I hope you enjoy it!

Episode: Season 11 - Alpha and Omega Pt. 6

As Amara put her hand up to Chuck's chest, a soft, yellow glow encased his body before slowly fading to his normal complexion. His powers were fully restored now. They turned then, smiling over at Dean and I who stood off to the side, watching.

"I think we're just gonna go away for a while and-" Chuck started before Dean cut him off, waving a hand.

"Hey, yeah. Family meeting. I get it."

"But first..." Chuck trailed off, eyes suddenly downcast, concerned, "We have to figure out how to take care of those souls."

He pointed a finger then, gesturing at Dean's chest where in which lied the thousands of souls that Billie had collected for us. A frown encroached upon my face as I let my mind wander in thought. What were we to do about those souls? It wasn't as if we could just let it go, let them out into the world. It was too much chaos - and the world was now in recovery. It didn't need that added to it.

Dean nodded solemnly then, having thought-over the situation as well. He was about to speak, about to offer himself up. Let him be the sacrificial lamb that saved us all from the apocalypse. But I shocked everyone by letting the bomb drop, knowing in my heart that it would hurt Sam but...also knowing that it was what needed to be done. To save what was left of the human race.

"I'll do it." I blurted, making all eyes turn to me.

Dean gaped in surprise, startled by my outburst but I wouldn't let him speak as Chuck's gaze lingered on me. His eyes searched mine for any sign of treachery, any deceit on my part. But after a beat, clearly being satisfied at finding none, slowly, he smiled and began to walk to me.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as Dean began to protest.

"Hey, no, NO! This is not happening, okay? It's supposed to be me...it's supposed to be me," he pleaded, voice hard but desperate.

When Chuck finally stopped in front of me, bright blue eyes searched my face one last time, "Are you sure about this, Carter? Once you do this...there's no going back. No Lazarus 2.0 for Reapers, I'm afraid,"

I nodded, tears pricking my brown eyes but I pushed them back, "I know."

Gently, he lifted up a hand then and pressed it to Dean's chest, the souls sparking blue and white as they were sucked out of his body. As soon as it was over and all the light was gone, Dean let out a sigh of both relief and dread. Because he knew what was coming as well as I. But before God could even touch me, I spoke up.

"Wait!"

Chuck's eyes flickered over to me, silent as I went on.

"I'll take the souls. I'll sacrifice myself but...but I want one thing in return."

Chuck awaited my condition and so, I leaned up to his ear, whispering the one thing in this world that I wanted. The one thing that I wanted to be left when I was gone... And when I stepped away, I could feel Dean's eyes on the both of us. He hated this, I could feel it. But there was nothing to be done.

Lightly pressing his hand against my own chest now, Chuck began to push all those thousands of souls into my own body. It felt like light slicing through my chest, much more painful than what I had imagined it to feel like. I want to say I didn't cringe, that I didn't wince in pain. But it was agony and I let a small whimper escape from between my lips.

"Carter!" Dean said, attempting to get to me but Amara held him back with one strong hand.

As the souls began to fight inside of me - fight for dominance, fight for life...I could feel my body start to shut down. Tears built up behind my eyes and I knew that this was the end. I had lived far longer than so many before me. So many I had known, grown up with, had long since passed over. It was time...it was time to go home.

I wish I could say what happened then...what it felt like. To leave this world. But all I felt was...was peace. Everything else - my own pain of losing Sam, losing myself, Dean crying out my name - all of it just faded away to nothing...

The last thing I saw behind my eyes, that one final memory we all have as it ends, before it all went luminescent gold and streaks of white was the warm hazel-brown gaze of Sam Winchester. 

The love of my life.