𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 • 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐈𝐄

5.40

PSA

what i was trying to get through in the last chapter was that johnny and mackenzie's relationship is not healthy. i know u want genZ but keep that in mind, thank you

nadia groggily sat up in bed, brushing her hair out of her face as the same time as she frantically pushed snooze on her alarm. groaning, she flopped back into bed, calculating whether or not she could afford having ten more minutes of sleep- but she couldn't. she needed to go for a run, then have a shower, then get ready for school.

she dragged herself out of bed, knowing exercise would benefit her, and flung open her wardrobe. almost at random, she picked out a blue exercise top and pulled on black bootie shorts. after slipping on some socks and nike runners, she searched for a scrunchie in her drawers and picked the one her hand came in contact with first.

downing a quick breakfast of muesli, nadia headed to her front door and after a single deep breath, she set off on her run.

she ran through alleyways and streets, up hills and down, across roads and footpaths and through trees and past her school and the gym and her old dance complex and many, many houses. almost half an hour later, when her legs were screaming in protest, nadia's feet plodded to a stop upon reaching her street. breathing hard after the intense cardio, she let her mind relax and finally let it wander to something other than i must keep running.

running had been something nadia had taken to doing a lot recently. there were too many things she was anxious about; school, her friends, family, boys, colleges- running swept all of those worries away and grounded her in the present moment.

getting up in the morning and forcing herself to run was brutal, but necessary. she knew that if she didn't get off her ass and do some exercise she'd bunk off school for the day and stay in bed, depressed. of course, her getting hardly any sleep made it even harder to get up, but that was her own fault. she was weak, pathetic, but she somehow could never bring herself to stop crying at night. everything hit her full force, and the only way to stop feeling so sad was falling asleep.

slightly cooled off now that she'd been walking down her street in the wind, nadia sped up to a walk. turning down her driveway, she hopped up the steps and yanked the front door open.

to her immense surprise, her little sister ruby was awake, seated at the dining table with her phone in hand.

"hey, rubs." nadia said, a little wary.

"hey." ruby replied, tone of voice not very warm.

"why are you up so early?" nadia asked, carefully slipping of her shoes before taking a seat at the dining table.

"heard you get up. i couldn't get back to sleep."

"oh. sorry about that, i-"

ruby interrupted her. "nadia." suddenly she sounded much older than sixteen.

"yeah?" nadia was once again weary.

"you can't keep doing this to yourself." ruby whispered, her chocolate brown eyes wide and sad.

nadias voice was strained. " what do you mean?"

"look at you. forcing yourself to get up at an ungodly hour of the morning when you barely sleep as it is. your eyes are puffy from crying, you're skinnier than you've ever been, and you just look sad all the time." tears were shining on ruby's cheeks.

nadia felt all the air she had in her chest get sucked away. her throat closed over and she couldn't speak, couldn't form the right words.

ruby swallowed visibly. "i want to help you, you need to talk to me nads. i know you're upset. i want to help. please- i just need my big sister back."

and with that, nadia was crying too, shoulders heaving up and down. she pushed her seat back and stood up, swiping at her eyes to catch the tears accumulated there. falling on her knees beside ruby's chair she wrapped her arms around her little sister, holding her tight and whispering "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry," into her hair.

AUTHORS NOTE

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