Pensée Of Anemones

...sandstars

Sometimes I just wonder ...

If those who are yet to feel the pain of being separated from their loved ones , are really the lucky ones out of us. The ones that are the most safe from that pit hollow feeling...

Sometimes I wonder wether it is that lost one that we miss or that feeling of innocent carefreeness.

As if you're exempt of the troubles , struggles of life being happy that you can live without any feeling of melancholy.

Without having to live with that strange guilt that you're the only one not softly and resignedly sighing from the hard realities of life.

In the end what do we really want ? Be happy or sad ? Is the choice even ours then?

Can we..? Can we perhaps smile at the thought of that dear grandmother picking you up from the ground when you fell without feeling that emptiness from missing her ?

Should we accept and be happy with that she died naturally and blended with the strings of life ?

In the end what I really want is to always live back in those memories

In the end perhaps what I miss is not that person that left .

Perhaps it is the fact that I can't take back those wistful moments because they would change me forever.

What I choose to be from that moment on ,what person I will be from now on,
from the moment I was taken out of that bubble of safe heaven.

On from that moment I became a human.

For what I will choose to be, I will always look back at those moments though . No matter the soft pain it makes me endure. It is always a welcome remembrance so that I can stay in the lighted path. The sand stars that you live in on.

What I wouldn't regret, even though I was gone is to have graced this earth .

Because in the end when there is life and there is death, there is also in the heart an eternal happiness.

The one that was granted every human, but also the same one to which everyone can't find their way back.

I will always remember it then to fill in that which isn't a hole anymore in my heart but a bigger place for even more memories...