Pensée Of Anemones

...struggles

Isn't it the worst feeling?

When your lower self dictates you to do the very thing that is so wrong yet you want it?

This indescribable feeling of wanting something you don't need.

You know deep down it will be your downfall , one little taste , a single peek , opening the door to a cascade of endlessly watching , watching yourself repeat the same mistake over and over again.

Though it's not that you're not trying. Still, but ever so reluctantly.

Why is it so damn hard to force yourself to do what is best ?

Why do we like a thing that is bad for us and tend to shun away what's good?

We like to revel into the goodness of that addiction thinking we are still in control.

Or we just don't care at all and only seemingly come back to our senses, as if when some unknown force had taken over, to see the damage done.

Only to start making resolutions not to get caught into the guilty, deadly pleasure yet we fall into the same the trap again.

Is it that we lost hope in our self control? Or we don't want to stop anymore?

Sometimes don't you just sit down to hate yourself for giving in every single time?

Why can't we just tear ourselves out of it ? Can we ever have the strength to do it at all?

Then is it that the strength is not ours but The Most Powerful's ? The Almighty's [ May He be Exalted.]