The Girl Known To Be With Him

D-76

||narration

"So, you're the misssing part." napalingon ako sa taong umupo sa tabi ko. I'm currently sitting in the bench of the hospital's rooftop. Na Jaemin.

"Just knew that you've got amnesia from that accident." I asnwered.

"Yeah. Retrograde Amnesia. Sad thing is I forgot you." he smiled with sadness.

"It's okay," I smiled then looked at him. "Atleast you now remember everything."

I rest my back as I look up to the sky. Silence filled the rooftop, as I keep thinking about the future, and past.

We both know that we opened our eyes for the better relationship. The holes in our paths are getting and getting noticeable compared before making us to know the whole story. The story of us.

"Do you. . . remember everything since before?" he suddenly asked making me stop to think. Nilingon ko siya. Nakita ko itong nakatingin din sa kalangitan.

"Actually, I don't know." I almost whispered. "I got sick after that incident. I got anxiety disorder that almost went into panic attack. Due to that reason, it make myself to be more aware of my surrondings and my mind." I continued.

"Slowly, I tried to divert my problems into the back of my mind; my childhood. My parents also decided to go the America. We lived there for about 4 years. Slowly, I do not remember everything what happened ago, the bad days of us. Not that I forgot but I do not remember it very easily. It was tough days yet I succeed. Atleast." I smiled yet sighed as I finished.

"Yeah, you were very tough that time." he commented.

"However, I didn't attend that day." I almost gasped. Tears are coming through my eyes. "I'm so sorry,"

"I was there. I woke up after she died." he replied looking at me, sadness written all over his face.

"I don't know. I woke up not remembering the events before the incident. I woke up not knowing what happened. I woke up that my environment was a chaos. I woke up, atleast."

"Until this day, after I remember everything, I don't know why our childhood was ruined like that. Me having an amnesia, you having an anxiety disorder, and she leaving us permanently." he slowly said trying not to crack his voice yet still failed. That time, I cried.

"I don't know. How can we continue now?" I sobbed. "How can we continue our own story?"

"Our story was never direct to us. It was always a mess. We also know that I was never the first. I was never the girl known to be with you." I sobbed for the nth time. This is not my genre, I am a go with the flow girl, I do not love too much drama. But now, I can't help but burst with tears and keep on sobbing.

"It was her. You were the childhood sweethearts. Kayo yon eh. Bat ngayon naging ako? This was never meant to us. Fuck this nonsense drama. Napapaisip nanaman ako e. What now for tomorrow? How will be us tomorrow?" I sobbed once again.

"Hindi na lang to about sa love life eh. Everything is part of the puzzle, yung childhood natin, siya, yung pagkakakilala ulit natin, yung something sa atin. Everything is connected and we can't just leave it like nothing." I said.

"You know that I love you, right? I love you not because we were part of each childhood. I love you because you're you." he said. He's not crying yet I feel his pain, his voice keeps on cracking.

"I care for the future. For us not to be imprisoned by the yesterday. For the better us. I want to be better. I want us to be better."