Ricci Rivero, MD

26

Play "Kapit by Armi Millare"

"Where do you want to eat?" He asked.

"Ikaw bahala."

"C'mon. You decide where. I'm hungry." Saad nya.

"Ikaw nga. I'm not craving for anything naman eh." I reassured him.

"Fine. Let's just go home." His voice raised.

"So galit ka?" 

"No."

"Galit ka nga. You asked, I answered. So why are you mad? Anong ginawa ko?" I answered with the same tone he used.

"I don't want to fight. So wag na okay?" He massage his forehead.

"Now you don't want to talk? Akala ko ba communicate? Communication is the key. But why are you not talking?" I'm not stopping right now. This is the fight that's always been delayed.

"Babe, this is our first fight and the reason is just so small. Can we just call this a day at itulog nalang when we reach home?" He beg while still massaging his forehead.

"No. Pag usapan natin to' palagi nalang na de-delay ito. C'mon spill it. God, Rivero. You can't just decide? Ano? Ako nalang palagi?" I'm not backing down.

"Will you just stop raising your voice? I pleaded to just get over this cause I'm so tired pero you always keep on bringing it again." Mahinahon nyang sagot.

"I told you ayoko. Sinimulan mo na so tapusin mo. Why are you so mad ha?"

"Fine! You want to talk? Osige. I was just tired and I needed for your opinion to where we're eating pero nagagalit ka? Pero kapag ikaw yung pagod inintindi kita. Intindihin mo din naman ako minsan. Bakit ka ba naging ganyan? These past 5 months you weren't like that. Ano? You found another guy? Gusto mo na makipag break?"

I feel attacked kaya naman hindi ko na napigilan yung mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko.

"Wow so ako pa ngayon? Ako pa ngayon yung hindi marunong umintindi? Kailan ako hindi umintindi sa'yo? Everytime I want to go out pero hindi ka pwede cause you have operation wala akong sinasabi. Tas ako pa ngayon yung may iba? Baka ikaw? Hindi ako nagbago, Rivero. Nakalimutan mo lang akong i appreciate kaya feeling mo nagbago ako. Stop driving. I'm going down." Hininto nya ito at bumaba ako.

"Now you're walking out? Ganon nalang yun? Seryoso ka? You didn't change? How come I never see you prepare food when I'm tired from all those operations? How come I never feel your hugs for 3 months now? Bakit hindi na naging genuine lahat ng actions mo? Ako ba talaga yung nag stop na iappreciate ka? Ha? Ni hindi mo na nga hinawakan kamay ko eh. Hindi mo na ako hinalikan. Ako ba?"

My tears started to fall.

"I stopped doing those to make you realize na napapagod na din ako to always make you feel that na sana ako na din naman? Diba? Nakakapagod din kasi gumawa ng ganyan tapos tine-take for granted lang."

"I wasn't taking you for granted. I always remind you that I appreciate you at konti nalang na sacrifice then we're good and I'll start a family with you. I'll marry you and have kids with you. I'm doing this for you."

I lost words. Ayoko sabihin na ayoko na. So instead of talking. I grab a lighter and a cigarette.

I started smoking while my tears wouldn't stop from falling.

This was our first fight.

None of us spoke, silence enveloped us.

Baka nga siguro hindi para samin ito.

Hindi na kami nagkakaintindihan.

Ang toxic na ng relasyon.

Nagdadalawang isip kung lalaban pa ba or susuko na.

Pero ba't ko nga ba minahal ito?

Minahal ko ba siya para lang isuko?

Minahal ko ba siya para lang ibaliwala lahat ng pinagdaanan namin para lang marating to?

"Akilia. What do you want?" Alam ko sa sarili ko na kailangan namin tong dalawa.

Love is not enough to keep us both.

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Tweet your thoughts #RRMDWP I'll be making twitter in a while. Hihi. Love y'all for making this far. Epilogue next. Will be published tomorrow.