Sugar Sweet Sin

More Confessions

Is this what I want? To have our relationship in the public eye while we're still figuring out whether we work as a couple? To have gossip sites and random people pick us apart or comment on whether I'm pretty enough or skinny enough for Dante?

"We don't have to go public immediately," I say. "I just want to know that there's a future for us. That you think we might... I mean, that if we stay together, we'll give this a real chance."

"We will." He pulls me closer to him. "I never got over you. I tried. I told myself you were better off without me. That I should give you the chance to find someone who could give you everything you deserved. But I couldn't forget you."

"I couldn't forget you, either," I say softly.

He smiles. "I thought you would have been scooped up by someone else immediately. When you told me you were in love with that Jack fellow..."

My cheeks burn. "I actually have a confession to make about that." If I don't confess this now, I never will. "Jack—he's just my friend. He's only ever been a friend."

"He seemed more than friendly at my party."

My face gets even hotter. "Because he was doing me a favor. I told you he was my boyfriend to save face. He's just my friend. In fact, he's very much in love with his boyfriend." I shake my head. "I know it was a stupid, childish thing to do, but I wasn't ready to face you alone."

His fingers tighten in my hair. "So it was all a lie?"

"You have every right to be angry. I know it was an idiotic thing to do. But I wanted to tell you the truth now, before this goes any further."

"Angry? Maybe I should be, but I'm mostly just relieved. I didn't want to think I might still have competition." He frowns. "What about the guy at the bar?"

"A blind date. And it didn't exactly end well, but I'm sure you could have guessed that already. There's no one else."

He's smiling again. "I wanted to make sure. You aren't the sort of woman guys will let go of easily."

I blush to learn that he believes something like that, especially when it couldn't be any further from the truth. "There's no one else, I promise. There hasn't been anyone else since you."

Now his eyes widen. "No one?"

"I mean, I've been on a few dates. But I haven't..." I can't believe I'm confessing this. I can't even finish the sentence.

But I can see by the expression in his eyes that he's connected the dots. "No one? You mean you haven't—"

"No. I haven't." My skin feels like it's on fire. "And I'd rather not—"

"No one?"

"Yes, no one. Now can we change the subject?"

But he drops his hand and steps back. "Absolutely no one?"

"You don't have to rub it in." I'm not sure whether I want to laugh this off or cry. "It's not a big deal. And it doesn't matter for us."

"It matters to me." He takes another step back. Runs his hand through his hair. He almost looks upset.

"What's wrong?"

"This means you haven't experienced anyone else," he says. "It means you have nothing to compare this to. You were a virgin when we met, and you haven't been with anyone else... how do you know this is really what you want?"

I'm starting to get annoyed with him. "I know. And I don't need to be with anyone else to prove it to myself. Or to you." I cross my arms. "I thought you didn't want any competition."